No Expectations
by primadea
Summary: Set awhile after CAPTWS. Where Bucky finds someone that truly catches his eye and he does what it takes to make himself a place in her life. Suck at Summaries. Rated M for a reason.
1. Chapter 1

Friday nights were made for going out, going out and relaxing at a nice bar, with a nice full glass of what ever she was in the mood for on that specific day, today it was rum. With a bit of grenadine. No umbrella on her drink, no artifice, just a lonely cherry at the bottom of her glass, to give it that redush syruppy color, to match the grenadine. She played with her glass, making the cherry move around the bottom of her glass. Fridays were shitty days, and she always needed to relax, here, at this bar, before heading home and being a mom for the weekend. Well, truth be told, she was a mom all the time, but on weekends, there was no work to rescue her from her mistakes and bad judgements.

She took a long swallow, asking the bartender for another. Five was her max, that's where she stopped, then she would get herself home, walk the four blocks there, before starting her watch for the next three days. She was lucky she could manage her schedule the way she wanted to, just one more bonus that working for Stark industries could give her. She thanked the bartender for the refill, again staring at the cherry at the bottom.

"May I sit here." A warm hand on her back, the sound of a bar stool scraping on the floor, she felt someone take the seat next to hers, feeling his heat on her left side, seeing his thigh by the corner of her eye as she still stared at the bottom of her glass.

"Make yourself at home." She answered dully, looking up just to get an idea of who had monopolized the seat on her left. He was handsome, hair halfway down his face, nice complexion, a bit of a scruff, he looked familiar, when his eyes turned to hers she shivered, so blue, so beautiful. She looked away, not wanting to seem to forward. It was still a bit early to be forward.

"I see you here, sometimes, always alone." He turned towards her, a light smile on his lips. "Usually I just sit there and look." She tried not to blush,not to smile, not to do anything that would attract his attention more then it already was.

"So why aren't you there now?" She asked smoothly. His smile widened a bit, his eyes sparkled.

"Cause I'm here instead." He chuckled. She smiled, a soft thing, full of the promise of something so bright it would eclipse the sun. He continued looking at her, amazed. She looked away, staring at her drink. "You seem tense. Would you rather I went back to my usual seat?" She heard the teasing tone, smiled a bit more. He was a charmer. She shook her head.

"Please, you already made the effort of getting up and walking over, might as well sit and grab a drink." He ordered his drink, sat there, looking at it, just as she was doing.

"I have a room here, if you needed more in depth stress relief." She wasn't sure she had heard him right. "I mean, we could finish our drinks and head up, I could make you feel boneless by tomorrow morning." He grinned at her, a full on sexy gleam in his eyes. Her stomach did a flip but she controlled her reaction.

"It's a bit early to be taking me up to your room, don't you think? Besides, you don't even know my name." He took a sip of his drink.

"The fact that it's early means we could have more time to play, as for your name, I am sure I'll be moaning it soon enough." She smirked. She had a live one here.

"Do those pick up lines ever really work?" He chuckled.

"Sometimes, but never with the ones I really want them to work on." He added with a wink and a whisper. It was her turn to chuckle. She got up, and surprisingly, so did he. How polite.

"It's time I headed home. Have a good evening." She walked a few steps before feeling his hand on her elbow, light, nothing aggressive.

"Could I walk you to your car?" He seemed genuine.

"I walk home, sorry." With an apologetic smile she disengaged from his grasp and walked on. She heard a stool scrape on the floor and felt his heat behind her again.

"May I walk you home then?" She looked at him, his crooked smile, his honest eyes, his hand on her elbow, sure, why not. She nodded and he settle by her side, offering her his arm, old school gentleman. She accepted it and they walked in a comfortable silence.

At a corner, she felt him shift, his arm smoothly transitioning from her arm to her waist, and suddenly she was pulled closer to him. She didn't complain, just kept on walking, Not quite sure if she was supposed to slip her arm around his waist or not, so she just slipped her hand in her jacket pocket instead. Less awkward.

They talked a bit as they walked, mostly about the weather and things that didn't really matter. Easy things. They stopped in front of a well restored brownstone.

"This is me." She said motioning to the house. "Thanks for walking me home..."

"Bucky, he interrupted, my friends call me Bucky." She smiled, climbing the stairs to the door, she felt him tight against her, he was so warm.

"I'm Catherine." She said as she turned to face him. "Thanks again for walking me home Bucky." She caught the look he gave her, a sideways grin. She leaned in and kissed his cheek, a quick peck, which, surprisingly turned into something more when she felt him shift underneath her and slide his lips on hers, leaving her breathless and bewildered. She stepped back, leaning into the door, when it suddenly disappeared form behind her, his left arm pulled her into him, saving her from an embarrassing fall.

"Geez mom, get a room next time." Emily, that little brat, Catherine rolled her eyes, and mumbled something, before realizing she was still being held by two strong arms, right against the muscle hard chest of the man that had just stole a kiss. She blushed, pushing herself away.

"Wow. Well, that was unexpected." He raised an eyebrow.  
"Not to me." She looked at him, annoyed.

"I got to go. But thanks again." She turned away, then, seemed to think better of it, fished a card out of her jacket pocket and handed it to him. "In case, I don't know." She waved goodbye one last time, and closed the door, turning the locks into place.

Catherine relaxed with a steaming cup of camomile tea. The television was on, some show Emilie was watching, nothing interesting to Catherine. She sat there on her couch, reading a book, something she seldom did. Her phone chimed and she checked it, just incase it was the office.

"So, Mom hunn?" She read the text a few times before it hit her. Bucky.

"Yeah that's my girl." She waited, half of her hoping it would scare him off, the other really hoping he wouldn't really care.

"I hope she didn't give you too much grief." Emilie had actually teased her mom, but it was all in good fun, they had laughed and she had teased her daughter back. Now, sitting in front of the television, Emily was looking at her, wiggling her eyebrows. Making a kissy face. Like the mother that she was, Catherine just rolled her eyes.

Instead of texting back, Catherine touched the "call" button. She heard him chuckle as he answered.

"What kind of a child would she be if she didn't give me grief?" She waited, loving his voice on the line.

"I guess she would be a bad one." She heard the smile in his voice. "I am glad you called, I hate texting." It was almost a whisper.

"I hope I'm not bothering you. I know it's late-ish." She heard a intake of breath.

"Nah, I'm just sitting here reading a report, quite boring. And it's not that late, only ten thirty." She giggled. Wait had she just giggled. Oh my, she had. "Did you just giggle?" She heard him laugh.

"Did you just laugh at me?" She was laughing now to.

"Yes, I was, I think that giggle is adorable." She was trying to stop, but she couldn't help it. Giggling and laughing, blushing. Get some control. Geez. "What are you doing later?" He was serious now.

"Nothing, It's Friday, I never do anything on Fridays."

"You could be doing me. Or better yet, I could be doing you." His voice was sultry, and his comment, though she tried to take it as a joke, was making her think things she truly did not want to be thinking about.

"Highly unlikely, I will have a sleeping teenager at home, and I will be having a nice cup of tea and some ice cream." She heard him whistle.

"Ooooooh Ice cream, I'm coming over." She giggled again.

"Anyways, before this gets out of hand, how about we say good night." He chuckled.

"Scaredy cat." She smiled.

"Maybe." She let it hang there. Waiting.

"Alright, that's it, I'm coming over. Can't flirt well over the phone." She heard a click, then nothing. He wasn't serious, was he? Nah.. he was just being cheeky.

She finished her cup of camomile, and went to make herself another. Emily had just gotten a call and was leaving for a party. She was now alone. And loving it. She changed, getting comfortable, yoga pants and a old t-shirt. Back in the kitchen, she poured her hot water over her camomile and went back to reading.

There was a knock at the door, Catherine got up, grudgingly, and opened the door ready to nag her daughter for having forgotten her keys, again. The door opened and she was met with the most beautiful blue eyes she had ever seen.

"Hi." It sounded feeble to her ears.

"Hi." It sounded much more vibrant coming from his lips.

"I thought you were joking." She was definitely surprised.

"One thing you need to know about me, I never joke about Ice cream." He came closer to her, his hand cupping her cheek, leaning into her and ghosting his lips on hers, just for a second, before he kissed her, thoroughly. Braking the kiss, he stepped back, still caressing her cheek. "Or about kissing."

He walked passed her, into her home, taking off his jacket and his shoes, making himself comfortable. He turned on his heels, looking at her, expectantly.

"So where's your daughter?" Catherine just shrugged.

"She left for a party, probably won't be back until tomorrow." She saw him grin. "Don't get any ideas." He laughed.

"I have many ideas, wanna hear them?" She rolled her eyes. Walking by him, she headed to the kitchen, she felt him grab her wrist again, lightly, pulling her to him, his other hand landing on her hip, his thumb digging in, just enough to keep her in place. She rested her hand on his chest, looking at her hands, she refused to look at him, knowing she would blush.

"I don't do this, I usually just date someone for a few weeks, then when it gets serious I stop calling and texting and Just wait for them to loose interest." She smiled sadly. "But one night stands, I definitely don't do." She felt his lips on her ear, his tongue licking her earlobe, his teeth gently grazing.

"How about we try something new then. I take you to bed and we start from there." It was a declaration. He wasn't asking for her opinion, he was just stating how this would go. Catherine stepped away from him, she was terribly lonely, she was sure wouldn't go any where, but who was she to deny herself at least one night of pleasure with such a handsome man. She took his hand and led the way, up two flights of stairs and into her bedroom.


	2. Chapter 2

He watched her walk up the stairs, loving what he saw, what he had been admiring from afar for so long. Catherine had a great figure, one he could not help but to look at as often as he could. Not to tall, shapely legs, that finished off in a beautiful heart shaped derriere. Her back arching naturally, specially when she wore heels, yes he had noticed, a waist, more thick then thin, but gently curbing into a perfect hourglass figure.

He had noticed her from the moment he had seen her, dressed like a man, working on the wired network in his apartment at Stark Tower, a uniform that simply did not bring out anyone's best. He had noticed her soft eyes, as blue as the deepest ocean, her hair, straight, jet black with colored streaks, that changed depending on her mood. One day blue, the other red, she was expressive, and he liked that. She probably hadn't noticed him, she had been so engrossed on her work the few times he had seen her in his quarters. Then, she had been promoted, and there really were no more good reason for him to bump into her, so instead, he watched her from afar,,walking in the atrium, going to meetings, eating at the cafeteria. The manly outfits had changed to very feminine articles of clothing, high heels delicate jewelry and the likes. She was absolutely stunning.

His luck had changed when, a few weeks ago, he had started spending the weekends at the hotel. He had recognized her right away, sitting at the bar, always alone, always drinking up to five drinks, never more, seldom less. Then leave, walking home. He had followed her every time, just to be sure she would be OK walking alone. He was a bit of a creeper. Steve had started to make fun of him, calling him a stalker and lover boy and so many other things Bucky just didn't care about.

Now, she was walking ahead of him, up the stairs,holding his hand, and he was staring at her shapely ass, thinking of all the things he would do to her. His pants were already tight, and thinking about the coming activities simply made it more uncomfortable. They reached her bedroom, a large room, scarcely furnished, but well put together, a large bed against the wall, all they really needed. She stopped in front of him , her back to him, and he claimed his prize, pulling her to him , he kissed her neck, leaving light bruises as he sucked, hearing her moan was making hard for him to control himself, and when she whimpered his name, Bucky was sure he was going to spend himself in his jeans.

Twisting her around to face him , he kissed her bruisingly, his lips working on hers, demanding, his tongue dancing with hers, she moaned and he groaned, this was not going to last long. Her hands were under his shirt and a second later, she had stepped back, looking at him. Shit! She had felt his arms, his METAL arm. He had been so caught up in her he had forgotten about that little detail.

"What is that?" Her voice was questioning, but not judging. She was curious. "Is that a prosthetic?" He sighed. Nodded. "Take off your shirt. Please." Bucky knew he could't hide it from her, so he did as she asked, pulling his shirt up and over his head, He missed the look in her face the instant she saw his arm, but the lust in her eyes was still there when he looked up at her, mingled with a tiny bit of fear, and a lot of excitement. "WOW!" She reached her hand, gently sliding her fingers on the metal, feeling the cold metal with her palm, she rubed her thumb in a small circle. She seemed amazed.

"I should have told you." She shook her head.

"No, It's OK. It's really surreal." She looked at him again, but it was different. She walked to him, right up against him, and looked him in the eye, slowly, he leaned down and kissed her, gently at first, then more demanding, until her arms were around his neck and he was holding her by the waist. Tight. It was a great kiss one of those kisses that you always remember, a kiss that means more then it should, specially considering they didn't know each other. Catherine finished what she had started, running her hands all over his torso, loving the feel of flesh and metal, the feel of his muscles, the beat of his heart, the heat of his skin, she was all hands and lips, something she had never let herself be.

He helped her out of her heels, then her skirt, her top, kissing and nipping as he went along, leaving the best fro last, he took his time looking at her in her underwear, her skin was glowing, she seemed shy, her blush extending to more then just her cheeks. Snaking her fingers in his belt loops, she pulled him to her, kissing him breathless as her hands undid his fly and deftly, reached into his pants and wrapped her fingers around his hardness. His breath hitched, his eyes rolled back and his jaw went slack.

Her hand stayed on him as she dropped to her knees in front of him, keeping eye contact, she pulled his pants and boxers off, one foot at a time, before soffly blowing on his manhood, liking his tip lightly and then blowing again. Felling him shutter under her ministrations, she slip her lips from his tip to his root in one smooth move. He couldn't breathe. Keeping eye contact with her, he saw her licking her lips as she pulled him out of her wet lips, only to suck him all the way back in in one stroke. Burying him down her throat and swallowing a few times fro good measure. Bucky though he was going to come, right there. It was intense, and when he realized she had both her hands clasped behind her back, he was sure he was going to burst.

Slowly, she worked him in her mouth, twirling her tongue, sucking, making sure to hollow her cheeks, taking him down her throat a few more times, just to feel his reaction. She felt him buck his hips, and brought her hands to his ass cheeks, pulling him in, not letting him move, she was in control. she fucked her mouth on his cock a few times, just to give him a feel of how it could be, then, pulling him into her throat again, she slowly inserted a finger in his ass, feeling him go straight, the let go, slowly, ad she worked it in and out, locating and then massaging his prostate, she had him coming in just a few minutes, in a deafening roar.

Catherine was glad she had been able to give him that. It was something she hadn't done often, but that, with the right partner, she would be willing to reprise, more then willing, she would be hoping to do again. Bucky was barely able to stand straight, he was holding himself up on one of the bed posts, catching his breath, beads of sweat rolling down his chest, he was simply beautiful to look at.

"Come here." He motioned her to come to him, closer, his hands lost themselves in her hair, and he kissed her, passionately, needing more, wanting more, he pushed her against the bed, it was his turn to be in control, his turn to make her moan, his turn to do to her what he had been wanting to do for the past year and a half.

She laid there,her hair sprawled around her head, so pretty, so sexy, so perfect. Bucky wasn't sure where to start, though he knew exactly where he wanted it to finish. Gently, he caressed her legs, from her feet all the way to her thighs, and higher still, hooking his fingers in her panties, brought his face to them first, bringing his tongue to lap at her though the cotton underwear, already so wet. He could taste her, so sweet, he sucked the material, making sure to latch onto her little nub at the same time. Her moans were loud and needy, he knew what she wanted. With a finger hooked on the soaked material, he pulled it aside to get a better view, beautiful, bare, sweet, everything he loved in a pussy, he had to admit, this fad of shaving/waxing everything off, he really liked it.

His tongues darted out, just to tease, but when he tasted her for the first time, he simply couldn't stop at teasing. He dipped his tongue deeper, feeling her try to shift under neath him, his metal hand came to rest on her stomach and he wouldn't let her move. Again, he used his tongue on her, this time it was he that moaned. Catherine spread her legs more, hooking one over his shoulder, just as he slid a digit into her, her moans turned into groans as she called for him and asked for more. She wanted him, she needed him now. Who was he to disappoint.

Slowly, he crept up her body, leaving a trail of kisses and licks from her hips to her collarbone, settling between her legs, he pulled one over his hips and smoothly slid inside her, she was drenched, wet. He kissed her, taking full advantage of her pouty lips, making sure to let her know who was in control now, he bit her neck, hard, not enough to break skin, but more then enough to leave a bruise. He licked her collarbone before claiming her lips again, He was balls deep in her, rocking his hips, waiting for her to demand more, which she did, more, faster, deeper, harder. And he was more then happy to give her just that. When finally he couldn't hold back any longer, he felt her walls flutter, her eyes rolling back in her head, her jaw slack, her moan turning into something more primal, she called out to him, panting, whimpering, and as he slammed into her one last time, both lovers moaned their release. It was the most intense ting either of them had ever experienced.

He let himself lay on her for a bit, her fingers gently moving on his back, his shoulders, his arms. He felt her follow the lines of the red star on his metal arm. It felt so good. He pulled her hand to his lips, kissing her fingers, before sliding off of her and letting her cuddle onto him, her head on his chest. It felt nice, intimate, more so even then what they had just shared.

"Is it OK if I don't leave right away." He was a bit worried about what she would say. He head a soft giggle.

"No you can stay as long as you want." She kissed his chest, right over where his hear beat. Bucky couldn't help but smile. "So, I just figured out why you look so familiar." He held his breath. "I set up your network, at Stark Tower, and your laptop, and your sound system with your new TV." He nodded.

"It was expensive, trying to find reasons to get you up to my apartment." She giggled again. Then when he just looked at her, her face flushed.

"You're kidding, right?" He didn't answer, only shook his head, slowly. "Oh My God James Buchanan Barnes, you did not get all those gadgets just to have me come up to your room and set them up for you." He nodded. She leaned into him, finding his lips with hers, giving him a light kiss. "That is the cutest thing I have ever heard."


	3. Chapter 3

Tuesday morning, a brisk walk from the subway, her coat held tight around her, Catherine walked into work. She was tired, but that was her own damned fault, Bucky had kept her up all night Friday, well into the late morning, and she hadn't had time to recuperate before he showed up again sometime Saturday evening, staying long enough to help make brunch before Emily had come home from her two long days of partying.

Catherine was sore, but well fucked, and in her honest opinion, one without the other simply wasn't possible. Walking into the lobby, she waved to the receptionists, then slipped her card into the reader and walked on to the elevators. The doors opened on the fourth floor, she was on her tablet, barely noticed two men walk in, when she suddenly smelled a light fragrance of aftershave. Sexy. She looked up, only to find Bucky staring right at her, while his companion was still looking at the door, talking to himself.

"Well, well, well, what have we here?" She smiled at his predatory glances, his lips in a sideways grin. Hi friend turned to look, giving her a quick greeting, then looked at his friend, a light surprise on his face.

"Good morning Sergeant Barnes, Captain Rogers." Both men smiled at her.

"Good morning Catherine, How was your weekend? Not to sore I hope?" It was but a whisper. She blushed. Almost wanting to slap that mischievous grin off his face."

"Maam." Captain Rogers, always polite.

The elevator chimed and she pushed her way passed Bucky, feeling him grab her ass as she passed. She tried not to yelp, but was sure The Captain had noticed her face flush.

"This is my floor, have good day gentlemen." She walked out, hearing the captain say something about Bucky keeping secrets, before the door closed and Catherine finally felt safe enough to breathe again. He had such an effect on her. She brushed it off and entered her department, sliding her card in the reader. She walked in to the offices, heading to her door, dropping her things off, before heading out again, she had a server to work on, tests on a new OS, and maybe, if they were lucky, maybe a small deployment to stress test the new OS. But that was a long shot.

He heard swearing, and banging, then swearing again, a huge intake of breath, a shaky exhaled, he turned the corner and saw Catherine, holding her forearm up, trying to contain the bleeding from a laceration that started on her palm and went half way up to her elbow. He walked a little quicker, taking off his jacket and ripping his left sleeve off his shirt.

"What happened?" She groaned. Grabbing the demised sleeve, he pulled her arm to him and bandaged it tightly. "Keep it elevated, let's get you to the infirmary." Catherine didn't argue. She let Bucky lead her out of the server room, on his way out he grabbed his jacket and a large paper bag. He led her through the office spaces out the door, and down two flights of stairs. It was lunch time and no one was present.

"Lets find you a spot." He walked into the first room, motioned for her to sit down, looked around for what he needed, then sat down expectantly. "Well go on, Kitty Cat, sit yourself down." She rolled her eyes and sat, looking at him, a bit unsure. "Ive done this before Kitty Cat, don't worry." He gently untied the makeshift bandage, Catherine cringed.

"It'll hurt a bit." She looked up at him, worrying her lower lip. He sighed, his left hand coming to the back of her neck, slowly pulling her to him. "I'll be gentle Kitty Cat." He whispered as her lips touched his. It was a sweet kiss, nothing fancy, he leaned away, opening his eyes to look at her. He waited for her to nodd, and when she did her doused her cut in rubbing alcohol, grabbing a towel and drying it gently. He felt her go tense, trying to pull her arm from his grib, but he was stronger then her, even with his flesh arm.

"It's ok, I'll need to stitch it. OK?" He saw the tears in her eyes, she was trying to fight it. But he was sure her cut hurt like a bitch. He took out a small packet, opened it, grabbed the suture needle and thread and started stitching. The cut was deep and very long, he made a few stitches in the flesh, closing the depth of the cut, then made his way from her forearm to her palm.

He took his time, making small stitches, his metal arm holding her forearm tightly so she wouldn't move away, his thumb making small cirlces on her skin. He talked to her, his velvet voice giving her shivers he could feel through his hand. He tried not to grin, but he couldn't help it.

"Do you often fight against inanimate objects?" He asked teasingly. He heard her groan and saw her roll her eyes.

"Usually I win." She said in a frustrated tone. He chuckled. Raised an eyebrow. "Sometimes I win." She revised her statement. Almost done, he found some gauze and bandages and took care to bandage her arm, making sure to kiss it when he was done, looking at her with a twinkle in his eye.

"All done." She looked at him, then leaned in for a hug, which he was happy to give, he laid a soft kiss on her neck and helped her off the chair. "wait for me downstairs, I'll go get your coat in your office." She looked at him perplexed.

"I'm taking you home." He leaned and kissed her brow. "Just wait for me down stairs Kitty Cat. I'll be there soon."

Once home, he helped her out of her coat, and disappeared in the kitchen with his large paper bag.

"What is that, anyways?" She heard him say something about take out and burgers and figured it was lunch. She truly hoped he wasn't sharing his lunch with her out of pity. She joined him in the kitchen, noticed two gel caps and a glass of water on the counter for her, she took them as she saw him heat up something in the microwave. Four burgers, with fries and a salad. He smiled at her.

"Lunch?" She sat down at the table, while he brought their plates, "I though you might be hungry, so I wanted to surprise you for lunch." She smiled at him.

"That's really sweet Buck." They sat across from each other and ate, Catherine having a bit of problem with the burgers, but managed to eat them one handed.

"I wasn't counting ou you hurting yourself just to get my attention." She snorted. He laughed.

"I didn't do it on purpose." She said trying to stop giggling. "I swear."

They talked like that for a bit, just teasing each other, it was nice to not be eating alone. He reached for her hand, his thumb caressing her skin, He looked in to her eyes, his blue eyes so clear, so beautiful.

"Do you need me to stay, maybe help you out around the house?" He smiled gently."It would be a pleasure." She looked away, embarrassed. "I can make dinner for you and Emily, help out with the dishes, then I'll go. Promise." She nodded as he got up to do the dishes, kissing her hair as he walked to the sink.

He seemed to do that a lot, touch her, kiss her, seemed to always want as much contact with her as he could, Catherine didn't mind, it was sweet, comfortable, she liked it. In fact, she craved it.

Bucky did as he had said, he helped out with the dishes and laundry, then cleaning a bit around the house. When Emily got home he started on dinner, making meat loaf and potatoes, simple. He cleaned the kitchen and had everything ready in time for a late dinner. Then he did the dishes and folded the laundry; All the while getting to know Emily and talking to Catherine.

Emily was a smart girl, almost seventeen, she had her mother's looks, with less curves and big brown eyes. She also had piercings, two on her lowe lip, one in her nose, another on her brow. Bucky had issues finding that beautiful, but on Emily, they weren't that noticeable, Her smile, the sparkle in her eyes, the way she talked and moved, that was girl would surely turn heads, if she didn't already.

He sat with the teenager, helping her out with a math problem, then they talked a bit, she seemed to like him. He made a joke about her and boys, and she openly admitted to preferring girls, for now. He let it go and when she finally went up to her room to finish off the evening Bucky was more then happy to once again concentrate on his patient.

He joined Catherine on the couch, her laptop on her knees, typing one handed. Catching up on work.

"I should leave." He said in a whisper. "Everything is done, You just have to slip into bed and let yourself fall asleep." He kissed her brow. She twisted to face him. Her eyes sparkling.

"Do you have to go?" He shook his head, looking into her eyes.

"No." He leaned in and kissed her. "But I said I would." She pouted. "And how can I boast of being morally superior if I can't even follow through with my promises."

"Will I see you at work, Tomorrow?"

"I'll come and pick you up, bring breakfast. OK?" She nodded. "Wild horses couldn't keep me away sweetheart." She blushed, got up and walked him to the door. He pulled her close, his hands on her hips, grinning suggestively. He kissed her, his lips crashing on hers, licking his way into her mouth, gingerly licking her tongue. She sucked on his for a bit, before letting his step back, he looked at her one last time before saying goodnight.

Things didn't go as planned, in the middle of the night, Catherine received a messages, she needed to get into work, a car had already been sent and she was expected at Stark Tower in the next half hour. She left a note for her daughter, messaged Bucky to let him know not to bother with picking her up and breakfast, got dressed in record time, making sure to be careful of her arm, and left with the waiting car.

At work, all hell had broke loose. A server had crashed, and she needed to bypass it, then try and bring it back online. Usually, this would be done automatically, but tonight, for some reason, the system hadn't worked. It took her a few hours, three to be exact, and by the time she was done Catherine did not feel like going back home. Instead, she messaged Bucky, promising herself she wouldn't wait more then four minutes for an answer.

"2812 Come on up."

Leaving her coat in her office, she grabbed her over night bag she kept there in case of emergency, and headed up.

He as waiting for her, leaning on his door frame, arms crossed over his chest, hair in his face, wearing only boxers. HOT. He smiled at her, a groggy sort of smile.

"Hey." He stepped forward, kissing her gently. "I was just going to turn in. Wanna join me?"

"This isn't a booty call Buck, I just need to nap a bit before going back to work." He looked at her, an overly offended air about him.

"Well in that case, I will have to show just how much of a true gentleman I can be." She giggled.

"Please don't, not on my account. All the other girls would be mad at me if you changed." He chuckled.

"What other girls, there are no others." He got closer, nuzzling her hair, breathing her in, his arms wrapping around her."Why would you think there would be others?" He was whispering in her ear now, and Catherine couldn't think straight.

She looked up at him, staring in his eyes.

"I don't know." She was being honest. "I mean, were just fucking, right, no expectations." Something in his eyes changed, she wasn't sure what it was, but she though maybe she might have hurt him. "Right?" She asked, unsure. He stepped back, as if she had burned him.

"Is that what you want. No expectations, nothing more the a quick fuck once in a while? " Catherine sudenly felt awkward.

"That's not what I said." His eyes were still hard. "I told you, I'm not good at dating, and I don't do one night stands."

"You mentioned that." He still seemed hurt.

"You're telling me there's no one else." He shook his head.

"No, why would there be?" He frowned. "I don't give my attention and affection to just anyone. I choose the people I let in."

"That's not what I meant."

"What DID you mean then Catherine?" She was frustrated, what did he expect from her.

"I just, can we just enjoy this. Whatever it is." She put her hand on his chest, but he brushed it off. He was mad. "I like you, I really do, But we just met, we're not dating."

"Cause you said you weren't good at dating." He interrupted, obviously upset. "I figured, maybe getting the intimacy out of the way first would make it easier for you. I'm not a one night stand sort of guy." Bucky was trying to get through to her, she could see that. But Catherine just didn't know what to do. "There's no pressure here Catherine, I wont push you into something you're not comfortable being in. I would never do that." He sighed, pulling his hand through his hair.

"Bucky" Catherine stepped towards him, quite unsure of her next move. She slid her hand on his face, feeling the stubble on his cheek, leaning into her touch. His eyes closed. "Tell me what you want." He breathed in, shakily. his eyes opened and he looked at her with a needy look.

"I want you to be my girl, my Best-Girl. My only girl." She thought about it. looking into his eyes, feeling him still nuzzled against her hand. "And I want to be your man." He seemed so sure. "I'm not saying lets jump in to this, we can take it slow, get to know each other, let each other in. But bottom line is, If I didn't want "something " with you, I wouldn't be here."

"OK." He looked at her, hopeful.

"Really?" She nodded. "You're sure?" She nodded again.

"As long as you are sure that being with someone that has a seventeen year old daughter is not an issue."

"It's really not." He smiled before leaning in and kissing her. "How's your arm?"

"It hurts, throbs but it'll be OK." He walked away a few seconds, coming back with a bottle of water and two pills. She accepted them, grateful.

"thanks." He nodded.

"Lets get you to bed Kitty Cat. It's getting late."


	4. Chapter 4

The week had been anything but boring, the new OS had not been ready for testing, but Mr. Stark had come up with some new ideas for the existing servers, and now the whole department was running around trying to figure out how best to work with the implementation of the changes Stark had "ordered". Of course, "Ordered" was a bit of a stretch, he had mentioned it, a few times, hinting, and Catherine had given in, they would try it his way fro a few weeks, then see. Chances were his way would work better then how they were currently working, though Catherine refused to tell him that openly.

Bucky came with lunch on Wednesday and Thursday, they texted a lot, and talked and definitely made time to be together, a hour or two after work, before heading home. But Friday, nothing, no good morning text, no lunch, no word on the Ex-Assassin turned good guy. Catherine preferred not to think about it. Made herself busy, she didn't want to make herself worry. The night before he had mentioned he wanted to take her out, they had finished their phone conversation with lustful words. But this morning, Catherine was to shy to text him, maybe he was busy, maybe he had forgotten, though she knew he would not forget, he had made that abundantly clear.

By 2PM Catherine was officially worried. Had she done something wrong? Said something wrong? She checked her cell phone for the umpteenth time, standing at a server station, trying to figure out what was going on with a specific server issue, something about logging on to the network. She exhaled, loudly, closed the station drawer and headed to her office.

She walked into her office, suddenly realizing she was pushed against the wall by a hand firmly planted on her shoulder, the door was now closed and she heard the sound of the lock being thrown. The shades were drawn on the windows, no one could see in. He stood there, his lips hovering over hers, before he kissed her, his hand leaving her shoulder to rest on her hip, the other tangled in her hair. The least she could say was that he had surprised her.

She moaned into his mouth, twirling her tongue around his. holding him closer, never wanting to let him go. He broke the kiss, breathless, but didn't move away.

"I want you, now." He whispered in her ear, making her shiver. She bit her lower lip,then.,disentangling herself from his arms, she walked up to her desk and bent over, holding her upper body on her forearms, waiting.

She heard him grunt, before feeling his hands, smooth, on her thighs, pulling her dress up over her ass and bunching it at her waist. An instant later she felt his lips on her cheeks, first one then the other, as her slowly pulled her thong down her legs.

"Gorgeous." She heard him say, before she felt his tongue on her, unlike their first night together, he took his time, licking her slowly, from front to back, nibbling and slinking into her, using his fingers, making her come on his tongue, her eyes rolled back in her head, she was glad her office was soundproof, something she had insisted on when she had moved to this department. She liked to play her music loud, and did not want to bother the other employees.

She felt cold fingers enter her, deep, before retreating and sliding back in. He was using his metal hand, and she absolutely loved him for it. It was a thrill every time, and she wanted him to know just how much she loved it. She mewled and squirmed in front of him, before feeling the sting of his flesh hand. Had he just spanked her.

"Kitty Cat, let me work." She should have felt mildly annoyed, but instead, it turned her on even more, and just as she was wondering why that was, she came, hard. When she came to, he was chuckling, his tongue still working on her. He moved, his tongue and fingers disappearing from her hot center, before she heard him undo his pants and felt him, slide himself on her wet lips, once, twice, then push himself into her in one smooth thrust.

Her breath caught in her throat, as she heard him moan and grunt. He was so hot behind her. His hands on her hips, pushing and pulling, it felt better then she would have imagined. Splayed on her desk, her lover taking her form behind. HOT. Catherine couldn't breathe, a wave was rising within her and all she could do was let it happen. She moaned and grunted and whined his name, and as she was about to let herself go, a metal hand clamped over her mouth, she felt him bent over her, his front to her back, his lips on her neck, she let herself go against his hands as he kissed and licked her neck, before she felt him shutter behind her, then grow still, a loud growl coming form his chest as he came. He slumped onto her, holding his weight on his hands against the desk, making sure not to crush her.

He slid out, pulling his pants back up before falling on his knees again and cleaning her with his tongue, giving her another orgasm, making sure he sucked their mixed juices from her depth. She had never had a lover do that before, but like everything else her did to her, she loved it. HE pulled her thongh back up her legs, slowly, then smoothed her dress back into place, before letting her turn to face him and kissing her, tender, sweet, lovingly. He sat on the nearest chair and pulled her on his lap. Bot quite sated and boneless.

"I'm sorry I didn't come for lunch. I was in a meeting." She nodded. "I'm leaving in less than an hour, going to be away a few days." He nuzzled her neck. "I won't be able to take you out tonight, but I'll make it up to you. I promise." He kissed her neck.

She had known this was a possibility, he was working with he Avengers, he was Captain America's best friend, it made sense that he would go on missions, leave for days, weeks, she knew that was what he did, it was his job. Catherine leaned in and kissed him, hard. Desperately, and he reciprocated. She didn't want to see him go, didn't want to know he would be in danger, didn't want to sit at home and worry about him. But she knew she would.

"Stay safe." He chuckled,

"I can't promise that, but I can promise I'll try." She wasn't happy with that answer. "I swear I'll come back to you Kitty Cat. " It would have to be enough. She looked at him, his blue eyes meeting hers. There were so many things she wanted to say, but this wasn't the right time. And so Catherine just laid her head on his shoulder.

"Will you be able to keep in touch?" She felt him nod.

"I'll do my best." He moved so he could look at her face, she seemed sad, worried. "What kind of man would I be if I left my left my girl all alone?" She smiled. He kissed her, one last time, before getting up and putting her on the ground, still holding her tight against him. "I got to go Kitty Cat. They 're waiting for me."


	5. Chapter 5

It was hot and humid, the forests of El Salvador were not what Bucky preferred, weather wise. He liked it better colder, more temperate. But he could see the beauty in this area as well, lush vegetation, flowers he had never seen anywhere else, he took the time they had on that morning to look around, apreciate. Though he was wishing he could be here for something more relaxing then a mission, with someone else then Steve.

He missed his girlfriend. He missed his Kitty Cat. He smiled to himself.

"You're thinking about her again, Catherine." He could hear the smile in Steve's words, it was palpable. He looked down, not wanting to give an answer, but in so, doing it anyways. He shook his head.

"I miss her something fierce, wasn't expecting that."

"Sort of sneaks up on you doesn't it." He had to agree with his friend, it did sneak up on you, kinda like he had sneaked in her office, a few days ago and.. he needed to think of something else, anything else.

They were both in the back of a heavy duty jeep, being driven to a SHIELD camp where they would get briefed on the situation, five hostages, taken to a HYDRA laboratory, deep in the El-Salvadorian jungle, getting closer to the border with Honduras. They still had a few hours to go, and both men were getting impatient, not to mention uncomfortable, in full suit, in this temperature. Bucky shook his head.

"So you really like this girl?" Steve was still wearing that stupid smile on his face. Bucky grunted. Shrugged.

"I sort of do. I mean, I don't think I'd be missing her if I didn't."

"Guess not." Steve moved to face him. "Have you told her?" Bucky chuckled.

"I'm pretty sure the hours we spend having sex work as a nice reminder." Steve blushed, which had been the nature of this excercise. Bucky just shook his head. " I mean, I sort of told her, not in so many words though." His friend nodded.

"Maybe you should have, before we left. " Bucky shrugged.

"Yeah, maybe." He looked at his best friend. " But you know, I don't know how. I mean I can flirt and charm and seal the deal in minutes with pretty much any girl. But with her, with my Kitty Cat, I just... I feel like I keep saying the wrong thing, keep doing things wrong. I want to take my time, and then a minute later were in bed. I want to talk to her and then poof, were kissing. I just... she turns my brain into mush."

Steve laughed, an actual laugh, that made the birds in the surrounding trees fly off in a scare.

"Wow, never thought I'd ever see you like this." Bucky gave him a sneer. "It's cute, really. Kitty Cat, Hmmm?"

"Shut up." He was ginning. "I can't remember ever feeling like this. You know. Like, the day isn't quite full until I've seen her, looked in to her eyes. Kissed her. Talked to her." He shook his head. "I think I might be seriously into this girl Steve,and it's seriously scary."

"Scarier then HYDRA?" Bucky shook his head.

"Nah, just, scary like I might muck up and loose a grip on it." Steve nodded, he understood. He knew that feeling.

They stayed silent for a awhile, Just listening to the jeep and the birds, it was quite breathtaking here. Bucky was still thinking about his Kitty Cat. He did miss her, but unlike the war he had been in so many years ago, he knew he would be home and in her arms in just over a week. He could manage that.

They reached the camp, nothing big, five tents, well organized. maybe twice the number of people as there were canvases. He jumped out, grabbed his gear and walked to the main tent followed closely by his brother, by choice, if not by blood.

Tuesday night had been lonely, sitting in her living room, watching a movie, thinking of where he might be, in a plane, a car, fighting, dead. She hated feeling so ... insecure, no. Worried... yeah, worried she hated feeling worried. She changed channels on the TV, not really watching, not really carring. She hit the news, thinking maybe she could guess where he was heading.

She spent all night watching the news channels, trying to figure it out. But alas, after hours of guessing, she was nowhere closer to figuring out. It could either be Africa, the middle east or south America, and all three of these areas were huge. He could be anywhere. All she truly knew was that he was far away from her. And she hated it.

That first night was the complete opposite of productive.

Next next few days she fell into a rhythm, same as before, without him. Work, late, then home, to work again, then bed, late. She didn't give herself enough time to worry. By Friday night, she realize she hadn't gone to the bar, but had headed straight home. It didn't matter. She poured herself a few back to back glasses in her own dining room.

Emily was in most nights, in bed early, working on her school work, talking to friends, they rarely talked these days. Typical mother teenaged girl relationship, she figured. Not like she had a great insight into those, she didn't really have friends her age with kids. She had gotten pregnant in high school. Fifteen, but she'd been very well supported. Her parents, brother, friends they had all helped. And now, at thirty three, she was the mom of a seventeen year old.

And just to add more drama, she was seeing an assassin, a spy, a guy with a metal arm... a sexy metal arm. A very sexy man with a very sexy arm, that could bring her to paradise and back in the time it took to get undressed and bend over a desk. She shivered. Even now, thousands of miles away, he still had power over her.

It was Friday evening. He was sitting in a tree, waiting. Steve about a quarter mile away, east. They were gathering intel before heading in. He hated this part. Long and boring. He couldn't see the sky from here, the canopy was quite a bit higher, but things were getting dark and the birds were quieting down for the night, letting the nocturnal animals their time out .

Bucky stared at the satellite phone in his hands, for the he wasn't sure how many-eth time. Before finally turning it on and dialing Catherine's number. It rang, once, twice, three, four, five, six ...

"Hello." He heard her voice, heard the echo. "Bucky? Is that you?"

"Yeah Kitty Cat, it's me." He heard a relieved exhale of breath. He smiled.

"How are you?" She seemed ... worried. Restless. "Caught the bad guys yet ?"

"I'm better now. No were not done here yet. But soon." She was disappointing he heard it in the hitch of her breath. The light tremble in her voice. "I miss you something fierce Kitty Cat." A light giggle.

"I like it when you call me that." He heard the smile in her voice. "I miss you, so much." Again, the tremble in her voice. "Just come back to me James." She never called him James. She meant it, this was serious for her.

"I promise."He felt as if someone had punched the air out of his lungs, as if he were drowning. "I promise Catherine." He heard her breathe, then move.

"OK. I'll be here waiting." He though he heard her try and say something else, but instead it was quiet.

"I'll be there soon. Bye Kitty Cat." He heard a soft sob.

"Goodnight My Love." A click, then nothing.

"Mom! Where's my purse, I can't find it." Seriously, did Emily NOT know how to climb stairs to talk.. did she really have to scream from one end of the house to the other. Catherine found the purse, on the bathroom vanity, HER bathroom vanity. She rolled her eyes.

"I got it!" She ran down the stairs, handing the purse to her teenaged daughter. "Here you go sweety. Have a great night." Emily looked at her. Worried. She hadn't gone out in more then a week, hadn't even stopped at the bar last week or that evening. She was jumpy and seemed tired. Emily loved her mom, though she didn't say it or show it, it wasn't something they did. She put her purse down, pull her mom, which was getting to be a bit shorter then her, and hugged her.

"When is he coming back?" Emily brushed her mother's hair away from her face. Catherine shrugged. She hadn't heard from Bucky since last Friday, a whole week. She was getting restless. "You want me to stay, I'll stay. We can watch movies, make popcorn." Catherine smiled.

"I won't refuse the company." Emily smiled. Nodded. Grabbed her phone and called to cancel. Then, they made popcorn and put in a movie. Cuddling on the couch, then falling asleep in each other's arms on the couch. Cozy. They hadn't done that in years.

Sometime during the night, there was a light knock on the door, Cathrine woke up, slowly, hearing more knocking. She stretched, got up, making sure Emily didn't wake up and walked to the door, managed to open it on the eighth knock, determined little fuck. She thought as she opened the door, prepared to send which ever one of Emily's friends was waiting behind the heavy mahogany door.

But when the door did open, Catherine was not met by a teenaged boy or girl, but by a grown man, her man.

Bucky stood there waiting, it was a nice night, a quite bit colder then he had experienced the past week, El Salvador could not compare to the weather of fall in New York City. He knew it was late, but he simply couldn't wait any longer to see his Kitty Cat. When the door did open, it was to his girl, standing there in her pyjamas, looking upset for half a second, until she registered who was at the door and flew into his arms. Latching on, holding him tight, her arms clasped around his waist. Being careful of her healing arm. She had obviously missed him quite a bit.

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tight, kissing her head, not really bothered by the fact that he was still standing out on the stoop. He took his time to bask in the feel of her, her smell the softness of her hair. He heard a noise coming from inside and saw Emily smiling broadly at him, before coming forward and making herself a place in their hug. He moved his arm to wrap her in as well. He felt appreciated. Warm, loved. Not something he was used to. The moment passed and everyone made their way inside. Emily kissed him on the cheek before heading upstairs to her room, leaving the adults in the living room.

Before she could say goodnight to her daughter, his lips were on hers and his arms were tight around her and she felt like her heart was going to explode. His lips were so soft against hers, so shy, so sweet. He moved against hers, insecure, and she lost herself, giving him everything she had kept locked up for the past few days. She plundered his mouth, not soft, not sweet, but needy and demanding. She felt him reciprocate, easily, switching from sweet and soft to commanding and demanding in a second. Being exactly what she needed him to be. What she wanted.

There were no words, just hands and lips and feelings, and touches, panting, shallow breaths, hearts thumping. They lost themselves, drowning in an ocean of moans and hitched breath. Head spinning, knees week. His hands in her hair, on her neck her back, pulling her close, closer. Hers were lost in his hair, loving the feel of it, still damp. Smelling like soap and shampoo. Addicting.

They stood like that, caught on each other, not wanting to let the other one go. Her forehead on his shoulder, catching her breath, trying to control her heart beat, her hands on his chest, feeling his heart rush just as much as hers. She wasn't the only getting swept away in the moment. He was kissing her hair, just because.

"I missed you Kitty Cat." It was almost a purr. His flesh hand was on her hip as his metal arm roamed on her back, ghosting its fingers along her spine.

"It was lonely without you." She whispered it, not wanting to admit it. Not to loud. "I think I'm getting attached." She giggled.

"I hope you are. I know I am." He was serious, she heard the tone in his voice, made her shiver. He was always so honest. It was kinda scary. At least she didn't have to worry or wonder, she would always know where she stood with him. Question was, could she be that honest with him?


	6. Chapter 6

Tuesday 1 am and she was being called in , again, sometimes she truly believed they waited for her to get on shift before they called, it was insane, every week the same shit. She walked into her office, logged onto her laptop and went to check on the server room, taking out the drawer console and logging into the security server, everything was good, no breaches, nothing out of the ordinary.

She heard a noise and turned around and found herself face to face with Tony Stark. She rolled her her eyes, he was holding a stop watch, and was obviously unhappy about somoething.

"Thirty three minutes, it took you thirty three minutes to get here after being called in." She rubbed her face with her hands, frustrated.

"Did you seriously have me called in just to time me?" He at least had the courtesy to look away from her. "Fuck! Tony." He lifted an eye brow. "At 1:35Am, I call you Tony." He shrugged.

"Testy much Miss Catherine Ouimet. Maybe you should ask your bionic boyfriend to help you out." He ducked, she hadn't even noticed she had thrown something at him. The keyboard. Shit.

"That was out of line Tony. " He shrugged. "Besides, he's refused to sleep with me since his return, afraid of flash backs and nightmares" She shook her head.

"TMI Miss Ouimet. So, about that time delay, we need to do something about that." she rolled her eyes.

"No we don't. Now, is there an actual emergency Tony, or can I head back home?" He smiled, one of those fake smiles, the ones she wanted to slap off his face just for good measure.

"We really do." He looked at the papers in his hands."We were just about to renegotiate your contract, wanna take a look at it now?" He walked out of the server room, found the office chair behind her desk and made himself at home, bare feet on her desk. She cocked an eyebrow. Sat on one of the guest chairs, comfortable.

"So, were talking moving you to head of information technology, and of course you'd still work with servers and computers and all those nice toys, just not for Stark Industries. Or should I say, NOT ONLY for Stark Industries." He looked at her, blank. "Of course it comes with a raise, and a much higher up lever of security. Not that you couldn't hack your way in if you wanted to." He sighed dramatically. " Though it would also come with the obligation of moving here, to Stark tower." She looked at him, blank.

"I'm sorry, What?" She cocked her head to the side. "You want me to move here." He rolled his eyes.

"Of course that's the only thing you would have grasped. We want you to..."

"I know, I got it, want me to take over a tech department in SHIELD." She got up. "I need to think about it. Was there an actual emergency Mr. Stark?" He shook his head. "OK then." Catherine turned around and walked away, heading to the elevator and hit the button for Bucky's floor. Maybe he was still awake. Or maybe she could wake him up.

She reached his apartment, knocked at the door, heard some movement behind the door, then the lock turned and the door was opened. He stood there, looking at her, not as surprised as she would have expected.

"Stark called you in?" She groaned and rolled her eyes, as the only positive affirmation she could give. He stepped aside letting her come in. He pulled her to him, kissing her letting her know he had missed her. "Bed?" she nodded and they made their way to his bed room, undressing as she went, then slipping into bed and cuddling against him. Sleep came quickly, held tight against his hard chest. Right where she belonged.

She yelped in surprise at being woken up so aggressively, bot her wrists were pinned under his hands, Bucky's face was so close she could feel his breath on her lips. She couldn't see his eyes but she could discern the glint in them. He said something in Russian, growling, harsh. This was not her Bucky, this was the man he had warned her about, He was why he had asked her to give him a few nights to recover from his mission, this is what he had been afraid of.

Catherine was far from being scared, in fact, her whole body was tingling, to find herself under such a hard body, skin to skin, feeling his heat, his heart beat, his need. She kept her eyes on his and pulled her head up, just enough to brush her lips to his, and he let her. She snaked her tongue out to lick his lower lip, and she was sure she heard him purr. there were a few more words in Russian, a question maybe, before his lips crashed on hers and he kissed her, hard, violent, demanding, bruising but oh so exhilarating. She groaned, moaned, bucked her hips into his.

He broke the kiss and buried his face in her neck, repeating something she could not understand. He bit down, hard, his hands leaving her wrists, roamed her body, quickly lifting her thin tang top over her head then working on ripping away her underwear. In the blink of an eye he was settled deep into her, slamming himself home. It wasn't something she was used to , but Oh Lord did it feel good.

She heard her name being moaned once or twice, tangled in the foreign language she found so damned sexy, adding her own mewls and moans to the mix and they were both in a world of sex induced sounds. He bit her neck, again, hard, as he rolled his hips, making her yelp. She saw him smile then, the smile she was used to, the smile he reserved only for her. And she melted, moaning louder as she came, digging her nails in his back, a feral growl erupted from his chest, followed by a few more words in Russian. She heard Kitten, and love and perfect and beautifully and she simply could not wrap her mind anything except him and how he made her body sing.

She begged for more and he gave her just that, harder, faster, he was more then willing to give all she wanted. After tonight there was no doubt in his mind that she was his. She had taken the assassin and turned him into a sex obsessed puddle of a man. The Soldier had woken up startled, pinning down the nearest threat, he had asked her who she was, what she wanted, though she didn't seem to understand.

He had let her move a bit, her lips had touched his, and he was lost. He seemed to remember her more as he slid into her, Kitty Cat, his Kitten, his woman, his everything. She was beautiful and sexy and so willing. She had whimpered and mewled and begged fro more while he told her how much she meant to him, how much he loved her, how he would always be hers. Slowly he had come back to himself, the feel of her underneath him bringing him back from the brink, letting him slip seamlessly back into himself. And for that alone, he loved her more then anything.

He kissed her deeply as she came undone beneath him, again, calling out to him, sated, her voice full of warmth ad love and absolute adoration. He was right behind her, finding his rhythm and releasing, his growl buried between he neck and shoulder. Kissing the place he had bit down, he heard her moan in pleasure, her body still humming from his hard work. He slipped out and let himself fall in bed next to her, pulling her to him, her head resting on his chest. Both panting, both sated, they had crossed a line tonight, their relationship would never be the same again, she had met the soldier and accept him, and he in turn had fallen for her so completely. There was no going back.

A lot of legal mumbo jumbo, that's what it was, a 456 page piece of crap, that she needed to read in order to figure out exactly what SHIELD wanted from her. Besides moving into the tower. There was actually a "don't fuck the payroll" clause, which she would have to look into, since she was in fact, Fucking the payroll. She had barely slept, between being woken up at 1am by her boss, and then again at 3 by her lover, it was now 5 and she was sitting in the kitchen, having a very early coffee, reading her a contract she wasn't even sure she would sign. Though she knew she probably had to.

The thought of changing jobs wiggled it sway into her brain, but truthfully, it was not something she was prepared to do, she had been at Stark Industries for four years. She liked it here. Why bother changing. The devil you know better then the one you don't and all that crap.

She heard the shower turn on, then a few minutes later, turn off. And waited patiently for her man to walk in to check on her. The empty bed had probably woken him up.

"It's a bit early for breakfast, isn't it?" He was walking around in nothing but his boxers, hair still dripping form the shower, and very enticing.

"I couldn't sleep." Have to approve this new contract. She motioned to the brick on the table. He cocked his head.

"New contract? For what exactly?"

"I'm not at liberty to say." He grinned.

"SHIELD. Nice, better pay I'm sure." Smirked.

"If I agree to this there are two things I'll have to stop doing. One is living in my own home, I'd have to move her, in Stark Tower, and the second one is you. It seems there is a strict no fucking the payroll clause." He frowned.

"We certainly cannot have that." She smirked.

"I know, right." He sat with her, reading the specific clause a few times.

"Might want to discuss that with Mr. Stark." She looked at him , unimpressed.

"You think?!"

"Yeah I think. And the moving thing, that's not so bad. You'd be closer for when they call on you at night." She almost laughed. "And, you'd be a lot closer to me." True. But that had never really been an issue. "How is Emily going to react to moving?"

"You're acting as if this piece of trash is already signed." He looked at her, serious.

"Isn't it. I mean can you really refuse? It's SHIELD and the chance to work with project you have only ever dreamt about. I mean if the only two things stopping you are living here and being with me then those are just crap reasons Catherine. Come on. Anyone would jump at this opportunity. "

She moped. She hated being wrong. He was right. But she needed to get rid of that clause.

"Do you have the same clause?" He thought about it.

"Probably, but sleeping with Steve was never really an option, I like them pretty." They both chuckled. "I'll take care of my contract, if you promise me to sign yours. " He brushed his fingers through her hair. Leaned in to kiss her tenderly. She nodded when he stepped back. She would take care of the contract. Then she would go talk to Emily. This whole situation would have to be resolved as soon as possible.

Later that same day Bucky and Steve Rogers were helping Catherine and Emily move, things were bring packed, furniture was being chose, to either follow them to the tower or go into storage. The house would go up for sale the next morning, and Catherine was as stressed as she could possibly be.

Tony had amended her contract, to include a three bedroom unit, un furnished, with a hot tub and a large balcony. Unit 2814. Also he had reneged on both hers and Bucky's relationship clause. Win win it seamed. Now putting away her toiletteries in a small box, she kept thinking it had simply been to god damned easy. He had seen her coming a mile away.

Emily would still be going to the same school there would be a driver for her morning and afternoon, which made the whole thing a lot easier on both of them. For her part, the seventeen year old was star struck, Captain America was in her home, helping to move, it was surreal.

It took all afternoon and most of the evening to have everything moved in, they had done it all in record time. Emily was already in bed by the time they were bringing in the last boxes, and Catherine was making everyone tea, soothing to end the day on a good note.

Steve had already gone to his unit, and Catherine and Bucky were sitting on the couch, relaxing with a nice camomile tea. Everything was pelmel and she hated it, but at least it was all in one place, all that was left to do was to unpack, place the furniture where she wanted it and that would be that.

She cuddled against Bucky, feeling him put his arm around her. She was tired, she had managed to get a whole week off to get settled, and she would use every single one of those days to her full advantage. She felt him kiss her head, and smile. Breathing in her hair.

"How does it feel to be in your new place?"

"Not bad, I have a great view, and lots of space, and the commute is to die for. " He smiled.

"I'm glad you like it." He thought for a moment. "So, were neighbours now, maybe sometime I'll come by to borrow some sugar or something." She giggled.

"Yeah, the walk of shame will be real short from now on." He nodded.

"I'm glad you'll be so close." It was her turn to nod, it would definitely make things easier.


	7. Chapter 7

**_HMMMMM so embarassed I updated this story with another story's chapter... WOW sorry!_**

**_SO this is the correct update, sorry again. _**

**_Enjoy! _**

A whole week and a half off, unpacking her things, getting comfortable in her new place. It was weird. She had loved that old Brownstone, it was hers, her first real home. But this, this she could get used to. A two storied luxury apartment, three bedrooms, two full bathrooms, a laundry and a half bath on the main floor. A huge kitchen, large dinning area, and an immense living room, she wasn't sure how she was going to furnish.

Catherine was setting up her desk, in front of the great floor to ceiling window, in a small alcove under the stairs, she liked it there, out of the way but still took advantage of the windows and got as much day light as she could possibly get. The TV was installed against a wall, facing the L shaped couch, the large dinning room table had found the perfect place in front on the gas fireplace separating the living and dining room. She felt home, it was a good feeling.

She let herself fall in to the couch, finally relaxing, Emily would be here soon and she wanted to have at least a few more things done before then. It was finally coming together.

There was a knock at the door and Bucky walked in, She had added his hand print to be added to the "allowed entrance" list, and she felt good about that too.

"Hi Kitty Cat, I'm home" He said chuckling. She shook her head, getting up to greet him.

"Dork." She said as she went on her toes and kissed him.

"Dork lover." he answered, shrugging. "Wow, this place looks great, you did good Kitty Cat." He was smiling. "Love what you did."

"Thanks." She looked at him, obviously just in from his training session with his cadets. "So, coming by for dinner later?" He looked at her, annoyed.

"Can't I'm on call, Steve is out and they might need me to go in for recovery." She looked confused.

"His com has been off for over six hours." Oh, that was not usual at all.

"Is it offline?" He shrugged.

"That's what they say." Catherine made a face. "What? What is it?"

"Have they tried turning it back on remotely?" He looked at her, blank. "Shit." She grabbed her phone and headed out the door, dressed in sweats and wearing her slippers. He almost laughed.

He followed her all the way to the seventh floor, scanning their palms on the door lock, she strode in the large com room, filled with techs and professionals, all dressed accordingly, she stood out like a sore thumb. She walked across the room, directly into the floor director's office. greeted by half a dozen stares.

"Hey guys and gals, I was just told we lost our most precious asset?!" They cringed. "Is his com off or out of service?" She saw a few eye rolls. "Seriously, there is a difference." The man in charge, Ethan, seemed unsure. "Really, you don't know." He shook his head, no. "Get me a station." He looked at her.

"Sure, right this ways. " He led her out into the pit and showed her to a station.

She entered her codes, noticed they were missing a few security grades, hacked into the system as she was calling Tony Stark, just for good measure. And finally, after about a minute, accessed what she needed. She managed to get into the comm satellite, followed the ping and located the comm. Then from there, sent out a few signals, just to test. No response.

"We tried that already Mam." She ignored Ehtan. Continuing on her tests, she hacked in to the communicator's operating system, as basic as it was, she would be able to reboot it. If it's owner had been hit by a EMP or if it had been turned on or soaked, a reboot would, technically, work in getting it back online, She added the boot code for a silent boot, no lights, no test sound, just in case. The last thing she wanted was to put Steve in danger.

It took all in all maybe five minutes, there was a scratching noise, then a noise, like someone talking from very far away, then a pop and everything was back online.

"Steve, can you hear me?" Catherine asked in her microphone. There was a slight delay, before they heard a response.

"Cat, is that you?" The room let out a general sigh, she let him know what had been done to his com, he seemed to understand, and all was back to normal. Then she worked on his camera, same thing, a remote reboot, but it seemed to refuse to restart. They were stuck with ears only, it would have to do.  
Bucky was stunned, she had managed to do all that in less time then it would have taken him to take apart his gun and clean it, and he was fast. This woman was unbelievable. A true asset for SHIELD, though he hated the word. That was exactly what she was.

That night, Catherine received a surprise visit, Tony Stark, in her home, wanting to talk. He was bringing her a project, something he believed no one else could possibly manage to pull off.

An internal hacking tool, that was the closest she could come to finding a definition for what he wanted her to work on . A chip, embedded in the brain, that would let the wearer hack into any available computer, or network. Any security, just walk right in and take control. It explained the new OS she had been testing and working on the past two years. It would be a program working directly with the brain, invading the visual cortex, letting the wearer "see" what he was doing, like "google" glasses, but without the glasses.

Catherine had to seriously think about this, if she believed Tony, there were very close to the testing phase, and they needed her help. Tony left and she was left looking over the schematics on the virtual screen, she was inside the chip, looking at the connections, the buss lines, all of that, zooming in closer.

That's how Bucky found her when he walked in, standing in the middle of a myriads of lights, schematics and images he could not comprehend, leaning in and examining something, turning it, moving her hands, she looked like a magician or a fairy, working with lights. It was entrancing. He just stood there, not wanting to bother her, waiting. Finally, she shook her hands, everything disappeared, and she looked up to find him looking at her. A strange look in his eyes.

"I reckon you are the smartest dame I know." He was reverting to his old school slang, his Brooklyn drawl coming through. It made her knees weak. "I knew Peggy Carter and she was so smart, but you." He said as he got closer, reaching her his slipped his hands on her hips and pulled her close."You are so smart Doll, such a god damned turn on." He leaned in and kissed her. Nibbling on her lower lip until he heard her moan. Catherine broke the kiss, pulling away, licking her lips, eyes dark with want.

"Can you stay tonight?" He kissed her again, then nodded. "Yeah, Steve called in he's on his way back." He kissed her neck "I can stay all night. And tomorrow we can sleep in. I could give you a nice massage, we could hang in the whirlpool, relax, have a glass of wine, or four." Catherine laughed.

"You just want to use the hot tub." He grinned.

"No, I want to use the hot tub with you. Naked, In IT." He smirked as she made her way upstairs, following her as close as possible. The hot tub was right off her bedroom, on the master bedroom balcony, hot and already bubbling. Slipping into the swimmer hot tub, Catherine made her way to her man, lying down next to him, skin to skin, in the almost to hot water. It was sinful

Bucky pulled her on top of him, touching from toes to chest, her elbows resting on his chest, looking down on him. He was so beautiful, wet hair slicked back, perfect skin, deep steel blue eyes. And if she were to be completely honest, that metal arm and the nasty scar were just bonuses that made him look even more irresistible. She looked at him, kissed him, slowly, the steam making her feel groggy, the heat making her body sluggish.

"I love you so much Bucky." It took her a second before realizing exactly what she had said, wondering why his face had changed so damned fast. And suddenly she was as embarrassed and terrified as she thought she could ever be.


	8. Chapter 8

He blanched, his face changing, from complete relaxation, to one of utter surprise. Catherine had wiggled away, already standing up to walk away. He shot up, grabbed her hip with his metal hand and held her there, just a few inches away.

"Don't." He had said it harshly, surprised, a little hurt that she would choose to leave instead of talk. "Please."

There was a gust of wind, cold on their damp bodies, Bucky sank back into the tub, pulling her with him, landing across his lap in the deeper end of the hot tub. His arms snaked around her, keeping her there. Catherine looked away, her skin flush, shivering though the water was hot. He kissed her temple.

"Please don't take it back." He whispered low in her ear. "Don't tell me it was a mistake, don't make it unimportant. Please." His voice was shaky. He was sure she could hear it. He held her tighter. "I, I'm not sure I could handle it if you took it away, if you said you didn't mean it..." He took a breath. "If you didn't love me." It was barely a whisper, said with his lips touching her collar bone, taster her skin. Licking the water. He looked at her, her eyes trained on his. Soft, full of... something.

Catherine wasn't sure, the look in his eyes was so raw, so sad, so demanding all at once, all she could do was look at him. He was so desperate, so in need of... well acceptance, affection, love. She truly could not, would not, deny him.

"Really?" It was all she could say, the only question in her mangled brain, the only questions important enough to demand an answer. He moved them back to a more comfortable position, sitting against the wall, Catherine sitting across his lap, cuddled in his arms, her head against his shoulder. Lips on his neck, licking, sucking. "Truly James?" She felt him nod against her skin.

"Really, Truly." His hand moved to her face and he tilted her head back before kissing her, slow but demanding, needing for her to let him in, to let him take all she was willing to give. "I have admired you from afar for over two years Kitty Cat, I have spent nights imagining underneath me, calling my name, whispering those three words, over and over." He kissed her again, hard. Passionately. Possessively. "Now, hearing it, I could never go back to simply imagining it." He was looking at her now, brow to brow, his blue eyes deep swimming in hers.

"I love you." I was but a whisper, but she knew he had heard her. She knew because his whole body went tight before letting go, before going just this side of limp, so much more relaxed then she had ever seen him, felt him. She kissed him, lightly, softly, just a brush of her lips on his, before he nibbled on her lower lip and sucked it in between his. Grinning.

"I Love you Catherine." It sounded foreign, but so perfect, as if she had been waiting for just those words, without really knowing it. They kissed again, she was smiling, he was content. It was something new to both of them. Feeling complete. Feeling, not alone. Not lonely.

He was over the moon, he knew she had not meant to say it, that it had simply slid out, but hearing her try to apologize for it, it had simply broken his heart. He couldn't let her take it back, He wasn't strong enough to handle that. Anything but that. And so, when she had told him again, after he had admitted to the same, it made his heart sing. He would have preferred to profess his love for her in a much more romantic way, but this would do.

Catherine spent the night warm and safe in his arms. Talking. They had gone from the tub to the bed, liking the feel of skin on skin. Even though they were talking, their hands were still touching, caressing, sliding, ghosting, it was highly erotic to both of them , quite a turn on, but neither wanted to move to the next step, tonight, all they needed was to be close, to listen and to talk. It was enough.

Waking up the next morning, tight against Bucky's chest, she could hear him whisper to someone. looked up and found Emily at the bedroom door. Pulling the sheet up, she stretched. This was not something she had imagined, ever, her daughter walking in on her and Bucky, but. here they were.

"Seriously Emily, just grab my wallet and take a few bucks." He chuckled."Your mom and I will do some groceries today.

"Good morning Em. What's up." Emily looked at her mom, a huge grin on her face.

"Just needed something for lunch. Bucky's being the dotting step dad and being generous with his stipends." She smiled at him before turning around and leaving. "Breakfast is ready by the way. If you love birds feel like joining me."

"That went better then expected." She said with a smile.

"Cause I bribed her." They grinned. It was the first time Bucky had spent the full night, usually he'd get up sometime around five and make his walk of shame all the way home. "I should have left earlier, I just really didn't want to. Sorry." He apologized as he laid a kiss on her head.

"It's ok, It was bound to happen. Besides, it's not like you're a stranger. I mean, you're my man. She knows that." He smiled. Kissed her. "I think it's ok if you want to spend full nights. I'm ok with that." He was getting up, pulling on his discarded clothes.

"I'll go get changed, I'll meet you for breakfast." He quickly left, ah heard him talking with Emily in the kitchen, then the front door opened and closed. It was time to get up.

The day was spent between furniture shopping, groceries shopping and unpacking what was left. Bucky helping with everything, like the perfect boyfriend he was. He was just as needy fro contact as she was, arm around her waist, her hand in his back pocket, or his hand at her neck, or holding hands, it was nice, it felt good.

She had bought a bigger bed, a king size, just because, and Bucky was thinking about all the things they would doing on that much bigger bed. She had also bought a few extra pieces of furniture for the bed room, and her "Office" as well as new cutlery and a whole set of dishes. She was feeling good.

That night they went out for dinner, all three of them, Bucky stuck in between the two women in his life. He had his arm around Catherine's waist, Emily holding his other hand. They walked out of the building, nodding their heads in greeting as they passed acquaintances. They crossed the street in the middle of early evening traffic, and made their way uptown a few blocs before heading east and walking into a nice cozy little family restaurant.

It was the first time they went out as anything close to a family, but none of them seemed affected by it. In fact, the evening went off without a hitch, it was fun and everyone talked and shared, it was a very comfortable environment, between three people that truly enjoyed being with each other. Emily had tucked herself under Bucky's arms, sitting next to him on the booth. Catherine liking what she saw, her girl and her man getting along. Had she not known them, she would have probably taken them for father and daughter. She smiled. It was a day of firsts, and she hoped it would be just as smooth from here on.

"You really think we're ready for testing?" Doctor Banner, always the one asking the hard question. Catherine had just finished reading the latest test results, from the stress test, and the testing environment.

"I think we're there, this is the next step, testing." Tony stared at her.

"So it's not just me, the tests are conclusive." She nodded.

"I don't know about medically, but technically, this should work, would need a brain surgeon to set it up but the science is sound it would be interesting to see it through to testing." They nodded.

Banner left, waving good night before the security doors closed behind him. Tiny grabbed a bottle from the bottom drawer of his desk, and proceeded to pour him and Catherine two full glasses of Whiskey. She took a sip of hers, coughing just enough to appreciate the burn.

"Let's pretend the medical issues are sound and there is absolutely no risk to yourself, would you have this" He pointed to the chip."imbedded in your brain? Would you be courageous enough to have that in your brain?" He took a drink." Would you be willing to be the first test subject?" She looked at him. Not quite sure. "To wield the power, to be able to access any information, anywhere in the world, to be able to control any machine, get into any network."

"Are you asking me to test it." He laughed.

"Test is the wrong word, you'd be with that in your head, it's less of a test and more of a life sentence, really. Once the chip and the docking apparatus are installed, they won't come out. " There was a silence, both just sipping their drinks.

"I would do it." She was bold, he liked that.

"How about, with the risks, would you still do it?" She nodded.

"Yeah, I'll do it." She finished her drink. "Tell me when and where, I'll be ready."

"You don't want to talk it over with metal arm boy toy guy?" She looked at him.

"No need." He whistled.

"Quite the modern woman."

"Yeah, that's it."

Natasha and Steve were going over the mission as the plane was being ready for takeoff. Bucky just listening, looking at the maps, the floor plans. There was a silence and he looked up, someone had asked him a questions. He looked at Natasha.

"I just asked how you could be so calm while your girl friend was going under the knife." He looked at her, not understanding. She saw the look, her face paled. "SHIT!" He heard Steve give a few orders and the plane stayed. "They didn't tell you. She didn't... Fuck!"

"What are you talking about?" He was bewildered. "Why would Catherine be going into surgery?" The plane's cargo door was lowered.

"They are implanting the chip today, the hacking chip." He knew THAT. What were they not telling him...

"In Catherine, They are implanting the chip in Catherine's brain." He had caught on. Natasha was pointing the cargo door.

"Go!" He nodded and ran off the plane, grabbing Steve's bike on the way off the tarmac, driving off as the plane took off.

He sat by her side in the recovery room, holding her hand. He had been present for all of it, had managed to get to the surgery viewing balcony just as they had started drilling through her skull, right in the back of her skull, Tony had been there, and Banner, but Bucky didn't care, they had pushed her to this, offering her a chance he knew she would never have refused. He stood there, head up against the large glass window, looking down at his girl, getting butchered. And though he wanted to hate her, to be mad, to resent her for making this choice without asking him, without talking to him about it. He knew had the roles been reversed, he would have done the same.

Her pressure had been good, her heartbeat strong. What truly worried him was how this would affect her, how she would live with that... thing in her brain. He had seen what it looked like, a small square, fitting into the skull, showing through her scalp, about one inch higher then the hair line, hidden. A USB plug and a switch, large enough for her index print. The only thing to unlock the chip. No over ride. She was the only one with access, the only one with complete control.

Tony had taken the few hours of surgery to explain to him how this would work, what it would change for her. What it could mean for the Avengers, for the team for Stark industries. Bucky had been well briefed, and so when she started to wake up five hours before it had been expected, Bucky was already calling for the nurse and doctor.

Her eyes were opening, but he could see they weren't focused. In fact, her eyes were not responding at all, the pupils staying dilated. No change. He heard her groan, then moan, louder, until her moaning turned into a whining of agony, Bucky was worried, very worried, holding her hand as she went rigid, then shook, seizing as he was trying to calm her down. Talking to her, holding her hand, He didn't know what to do.

The doctor came in with a few helpers, holding her down, giving her something to calm her down, he was flashing his flashlight in her eyes, and even he looked worried now. Catherine went rigid one last time, screaming in agony, crying. And Bucky had to do something, he pushed through three nurses to pull his woman in his arms. The scream died down, her breathing was settling, getting slower, deeper. She was calming down.

"I love you James." He heard it, he knew it wasn't a dream, she had said it, and he held onto that for the next few hours, and the doctors did more tests, but kept her well sedated. Still, he sat there and held her hand. He would not leave. Not until it was time for Emily to come home, he needed to care for her, if her mother couldn't be there, then he would be.

Explaining the situation to Emily had been a horrible experience. to tell this young girl that her mother had CHOSEN to go through this, chosen to be used as guinea pig. That she was now in critical condition after brain surgery, worst experience EVER.

They had gone to see Catherine, Emily had curled up in bed with her mother and Bucky sat close, holding either of the two women's hands. They all stayed like that during the night, mother and daughter cuddling close and he looking over both of them, hoping Emily was not essentially, loosing her mother.

Sometime during the morning, he and Emily had gone up to shower and change, have breakfast. When his phone went off. He looked at the text message.

"SHE'S UP. DOING FINE."

He read it again, and again, just to be sure. Then showed the text to Emily. They poured their coffees to go and headed back to the medical department.


	9. Chapter 9

There was nothing, not even black, just emptiness, she knew her eyes were opened, she could feel it, as well as pain, lots of pain. She whined and whimpered, there was nothing else, just pain and nothingness. It had happened a few times, she could remember. Now again she heard someone talking to her, tried to open her eyes, again pain, and nothingness. Suddenly her arm was pulled back, by force, she had been bent backwards, roughly, until her finger touched something and then, her vision came back, the pain was gone and every other sense had died in intensity. She laid there, in bed, panting, looking around. What the fuck had gone wrong.

"It was turned on by accident." She whipped her head around, finding Tony, holding her hand and looking at her with more the simple mild concern. "Your brain was going nuts, there was nothing coming form the input, that's why you were blind, and in pain. It won't happen again. I'll see to it." She nodded, still quite a bit out of it.

Catherine looked around, the past few hours coming back to her, she'd had the surgery, the chip implanted. It made a bit more sense now. She saw Tony type something on his phone.

"Letting the family know you're ok." She nodded. "Sergeant Barnes took Emily to rest a bit, they spent all night here with you." He showed her a picture he had taken. Emily and herself sleeping in the same hospital bed, Bucky laid out in the chair next to them. It was cute. She tried to smile. Not sure if it came out alright, she still felt very buzzed from the pain medication they had given her.

"When will I be ready to test this baby out?" Tony looked at her, concerned.

"We need to wait and make sure the swelling on the brain went down, before even considering hooking you up to anything more demanding then a heart monitor. Then we will see, until that time, you stay put. We almost lost you, I don't even want to think what your bionic boyfriend would have done if anything BAD had happened to you. "

"I'm fine. A bit of a head ache, but I'm sure it'll either go away or be permanent." He chuckled. "I'll manage." She lightly touched the back of her head, testing for soreness and the different feel of plastic and metal. "How does it look?" Tony leaned in, looking closely.

"Hardly noticeable, if you put your hair up or down, you're good. No one will know." She nodded.

"Good."

There was a knock at the door, then Emily jumping into her arms.

"I'm ok Baby. I'm fine." Emily simply did not want to let go.

"Why don't you go get me and your mom some coffee. OK sweetheart." Emily looked up at Bucky before grabbing the money he was offering and leaving. Closing the door behind herself and Tony Stark.

He stood there, near the door, just looking at her. Relief obvious in his traits. He looked exhausted. Had bags under his eyes, a haggard look.

"Are you really OK?" She nodded. Smiled.

"Yeah I'll be fine. Just have to make sure my brain doesn't swell." He looked at her skull, touched the tender part.

"It looks good. Different." He sat on the bed, taking her hand in his. "How does it feel."

Catherine took the time to think about it. Closed her eyes once, felt his lips ghost on hers. Before opening them again.

"I don't know, it feels like there's something stuck in the back of my head." He smiled. "We will be able to test it in a few days. Once the swelling goes down."

"Are you sure that's safe?" He seemed worried. "what can you expect to see, feel, do with this thing?"

"I'm not entirely sure how it'll feel or what I'll see, but I should be able to piggy back onto any network and gain access to any computer or anything related to a network." He nodded. "That's the hope anyways." He squeezed her hand. Pulled her close to him, wrapping his arms around her. Her head in the crook of his neck.

They stayed like that for a while, until Emily came back with two coffees. She took the chair while Bucky was on the bed with her mom. They talked for a bit, Catherine explaining why she had taken the decision that she had, she needed her girl to understand. She needed to have Bucky understand, needed for both to know what she was walking, no running into.

She spent a few more days in the hospital wing, before finally coming back home to rest. Bucky had spent every night by her side, curled up on the bed next to her, like a lapdog. He would cook for Emily, help her with the homework then make sure she was ready fro bed before going to join his Kitty Cat. He would bring her flowers and dinner, every night, then fall asleep next to her.

Five days later and she was home, at her desk, alone, waiting for Bucky to finish work and get home to her. She had texted him to let him know, and he had called to be sure she was ok. Knowing him he would have gotten out of his training session and ran back to her. But she wouldn't let him. Emily was going out that night, they would have the weekend alone. Or at least, half the weekend.

Guilt was not something Catherine usually felt, mostly because she always did what she felt was right for her at the moment. But the past week, Catherine had felt very guilt ridden. She should have talked to Bucky about the chip, the surgery, all of it. Instead, she had waited until he was off on a mission to go under the knife. And THAT, she knew, was low. Cowardly. And she didn't like how it made her feel. She had taken a decision, about her future, affecting her child and her boyfriend, without having talked to them about it. She was sure both of them felt less then important in her eye right now, and she simply could not look them in the eyes. She knew she had done wrong by them.

Emily, her daughter, her child, she could have died and left her alone, with no one there for her. How was that being a responsible mother. And Bucky, she had probably made him feel as if he was worthless to her. Which, he wasn't. In fact he was the complete opposite of that to her. He was so important to her, meant so much to her. She could not see herself without him in her life, from now on.

Of course that sounded needy, and she would never admit to it, not to him, and definitely not to herself. She needed to make things right. Needed to let him know. Needed for him to know. She had already told him she loved him, but words were words and in this, now, she needed to SHOW him. How though, she wasn't sure.

Bucky decided to go home and shower, change, take some time for himself. He had given every minute of everyday of the last week to either work or Catherine, and he needed some time off. Needed to be on his own for a bit. Catherine was home, she would be fine for tonight, Emily would be out till Sunday, it would give her some time alone, time she needed to figure out exactly what she wanted, what she needed in her life. He couldn't just stay there and wait. He loved her, he wanted to be in her life, wanted to be important to her, as she was to him.

But the fact of the matter was, he wasn't in fact, he was so unimportant that she hadn't even deigned letting him know about her procedure. She had instead, hid and made plans behind his back, hadn't quite gone out of her way to lie to him, but close enough.

James was mad, he was hurt, annoyed, sick and tired of depending on her to feel... anything. If she was happy, then he was happy, if she said she loved him then his world stopped, if she refused to talk to him about something important, he felt hurt... It shouldn't be like this. It should be simple and easy and she should have talked to him.

But she didn't.

And she should have.

He would not be an ASSET, not anymore, not to anyone, specially not to the woman he loved. If she didn't feel the same, then he needed to let her loose. Needed to move on. Needed to find someone who would treasure him as he would them. Not this one way game He and Catherine were playing.

The words they had shared, they meant something .

Didn't they?

Catherine worked for hours before finally looking at the time, she was bored, keeping busy until Bucky would come by, but it was already past 10pm, and she was starting to believe maybe something had happened. Maybe he was sick, maybe he was out... or maybe ... there were many maybes. She made tea, still hoping. Texted him once, twice, six times, before starting to panic.

There was a knock on the door, a loud rasp, harsh in the silence. It was already half past one and he had been in the middle of a dreamless sleep, something quite rare for him. He groaned, got up, walking across his apartment to get to the door, still someone knocked. He violently pulled the door opened, almost growling. He was about to bitch at the person on the other side of the door. But he didn't. Instead, he stood there, staring at his Kitty Cat, a confused, scared, hurt look on her face as she stared at him, in his boxers, leaning against the door frame.

He really didn't want to deal with this, now, at 1:35 AM. He sighed, loudly, before opening his door completely so she could walk in. He followed her, noticing she passed by the living room and headed straight for his bedroom. They would need to talk before he would let them fall asleep in the same bed again. He couldn't keep feeling like an asset, they needed to get on the same page.


	10. Chapter 10

The door had opened, and there he was, safe, in his home, a few feet away from hers. And he hadn't come by, he hadn't answered her texts. He had chosen to stay away. And Catherine was hurt Not hurt, devastated. He had chosen to stay away. She stood there, half wanting to run away, half wanting to stay rooted there until he took her into his strong arms and told her everything would be fine.

But It wasn't, obviously. She stood there, trying to remember when he had told her he loved her last. It had been the morning of the surgery, as he was leaving for his mission. He hadn't said it since then. In fact, except for hugs, once in awhile, and sleeping curled up on her bed, and talking about random things, she realized that he had been trying to distance himself, from her.

He stepped aside, leaving enough space for her to walk in without touching him, then made her way to his bedroom, it was an automatism, she hadn't thought it through, and when she got there, staring at his bed, feeling awkward, she tried to turn around and head for the living room, but there he was, blocking her escape. So, she sat on the bed while he took a seat in a chair in a corner. trying not to look at her. Trying to NOT make it more awkward then it was.

Catherine sat there, looking down at her hands. refusing to look at him. Her heart breaking, her eyes brimmed in tears, she knew what was coming next. Not because she had any experience with it, but because it was so obvious. She had fucked up, and he was getting rid of her. It would be that simple.

They had been seeing each other for a couple of months now, had spent all their nights together for weeks. Had said three very important words to each other less then two weeks ago, but now, like this, neither knew what to say or do to make things right again. And though Bucky truly thought there was no way back, his heart was telling him to try again. To let her prove herself. To get passed this and move on. With her.

Sitting there on his bed, looking do drained, tired, sad, hurt. All he wanted to do was sooth her. But he couldn't. He needed to wait. To see. To listen. He was not a seventeen year old girl, easily swayed by fancy words. She had knowingly taken a decision on her own, that affected the both of them. His life just as well as hers. And though he realized he was maybe over reacting a bit, maybe it was because he wanted more then what they had, so far. Maybe he wanted the wife and the kids and the dog and the white picket fence. Maybe he wanted the dotting spouse, dinner ready when he got home from work. Maybe he wanted everything that he knew he could never have. And he wanted it with her.

He knew she had already gone through that part of her life, she had a teen aged daughter. But he also knew it was something he would not budge from. He wanted kids. He would be willing to adopt, if Catherine truly preferred not to carry again. But he sure hoped he could sway her, if it came to that. Then there was the subject of moving in together, he didn't really care about getting married, but he did need to know he would be the only one, the last one. That was as important to him as kids. Then there was the promise, no the pledge that she would never again, make decisions, any really, without talking to him first. He didn't care if it was for buying bread or buying a new couch. He just wanted to feel important enough to be asked his opinion.

There were a few more points, but for now, if those weren't settled, it simply was not worth any more time or grief on his part. He could then just walk away.

Though he knew he couldn't not truly. He loved her.

"Catherine, I want kids." He took a breath. He was nervous. He noticed she didn't move, her shoulders didn't slump her head didn't shoot up, there was no surprise there. Was that a good thing. "Not right away, but eventually, I want kids. And to be with you, live together, to be an important enough part of your life that you would choose to be with me. Choose me as the man you want to be with." He heard her sniffle. Was she crying.

"What you did, go behind my back, make a decision that could have taken you away from Emily, from me. Without talking about it first, without telling me. Fuck Catherine, I thought I was important to you, that you loved me, that you cared, yet you go and do THAT!" His voice was breaking. "And now I feel like I'm nothing to you, that no matter what you say, all I am is some guy you're screwing." Her head shot up at that. Her eyes round, he had gotten her attention, he had hurt her. "And I don't like that feeling."

He got up and made his way to the bed, sitting next to her. Almost touching, but not quite. He was shaking, and she was crying and he knew if he touched her now, looked at her even, he would be lost.

"I want to be important to you Cat. I want to be everything to you. I want to give you all I have but I can't do that if all I am is the guy you're screwing." Again a flash of hurt in her eyes. He didn't need to look to see it was there. He knew her by heart. "I want to be with you. I really do. There is nothing more that I want then to be with you." He took her hand in his. "But. I need to know that I can trust you to come to me, to share, to treat me as if I am the most important person in your world. Because that is what you are to me. And If we don't get on the same page here, this won't work." She nodded. Wiped her nose with a tissue from the bedside table.

"I want Kids Cat, and if you don't want more, then were at an impasse. I can't be with someone that doesn't want children. I know there's Emily, and she is wonderful, but I always wanted a large family. Ever since I was a boy. And I wont give that up." He kissed her hand. "I'm sorry."

"Can I sleep here tonight?" He voice was low, she was trying to keep it steady.

"I don't think that's a good idea. I think I need some space. I... I can't walk away if you keep coming in my bed." He noticed the double entendre a bit to late. And he saw a tiny smile on her lips. He blushed

It was a lot to take in, and Catherine really didn't want to be alone. She wanted to be here, in his arms, cuddled, held tightly against his strong chest, She wanted so many things. But he wanted an answer. He wanted to know if she was what he needed. Truth was, she wasn't sure. She had never thought of having more kids. She had gotten pregnant early, had managed, with a lot of help, to start again now, at thirty three. Though it wasn't something that scared her, it was something that she needed to consider.

She sat there, on his bed, a bed she had just been denied, his warm hand holding hers. She looked up at him, he was looking elsewhere, his face held an expression she had not seen often, a mix between hurt and desperation.

She pulled her hand away and framed his face, pulling him in her direction, she wanted to see his eyes. They were so blue, so raw, so ... Her lips ghosted his it was further then she had wanted to go, all she had wanted was to see his eyes. Now eyes closed, she felt his breath hold in his throat, a grumble from his chest. He stayed so close she could feel his lips, but he didn't kiss her. Didn't move. She opened her eyes, looking at his, hard, steel blue, unmoving.

"Please." She wasn't sure what she pleading for, a kiss, the right to sleep in his bed, a second chance. She didn't know. But she felt him move away, felt him distance himself fro her, slowly. Before walking to his bathroom and closing the door. She heard the shower come on. She got up, thought about going back to her place, to spend the rest of the night crying, or staying here and making herself comfortable in his bed, or join him in the shower. Maybe talk it out. Maybe feel it out. Maybe cry it out.

She walked into the bathroom, proceeded to get undressed, noticing Bucky wasn't stopping her, not saying anything, just looking at her through the shower glass. She made her way into the shower enclosure, Still he looked at her, water cascading down his chest, his hair, yet he still just looked at her, stared her down. She felt very little as she slid her hands from his shoulders to his chest to his waist, her forehead leaning and resting on his chest, her lips leaving kisses, languid. Her arms closed around his waist and his hand went into her hair, he sighed deeply before kissing her hair.

"I can't do this Cat, I can't stay in this if were not in it for the same things." She nodded. "I can't... I wont." She nodded again.

"I love you." I was a whisper, something to be lost in the sound of the water hitting the tiles, but he heard it, heard the shake in her voice, felt her lips move against his chest, her arms holding him a bit tighter.

"Look at me Kitty Cat." He just couldn't help himself. She looked up at him, eyes red. Panic written all over her face. "I love you. I just think we need some time to think. I think you need some time to think. I already know what I want." He kissed her brow. "You should leave Cat. Go home. If you want we can talk tomorrow." She was crying openly now, and it broke his heart. "Please." An instant later she was out of his arms, grabbing her clothes and a towel, she left. It was his turn to fall apart.

She spent the rest of the night thinking, the music on, lights dimmed. She was tired, polishing off a bottle of wine, standing out on her balcony, it was cold, the wind was harsh on her skin, but she needed it, needed a hard wake up call. She was in love with a man, a with nasty baggage, a man that had been stripped of his humanity and had given up on normalcy a long time ago, who now, wanted to regain just that. Could she truly refuse him. Would she? Those were two very different questions.

She would need to talk to Emily when she came home, could not take a decision like that without her input. She would also need to get used to the idea of being a mom again, which, truthfully, she hadn't been much of the first time around. She was thirty three, still young, still able to have kids, if she chose. How many, she wasn't sure, they would need to talk about that. But for now, she was just thinking about it.

She knew he loved her, and she understood how hard this had to be on him, probably harder then it was for her. Probably. Then again, he didn't have to think about it, he knew what he wanted. He had made that abundantly clear. He had also made it clear that he hoped she would be willing to adjust, though his tone made it seem as if he expected her to refuse, to just let him walk away.

She kept her distance from him the week following their talk. Getting back in the swing of things, testing out her new hardware. All seemed to be doing well. She had managed to get an appointment with her doctor, getting more tests, more blood work, more of everything really, all more uncomfortable than the next.

It was a lonely week, seeing him from afar, looking way from his stares, not texting him, not knocking at his door, not calling him. Not sleeping in his bed. It was obvious both were doing their best to avoid each other. They were both miserable.

Emily had been told of the break, she seemed quite surprised. Her mother had never had boyfriends, never had anyone besides her in her life. She had lived for her work and child. Had given everything else up. Catherine deserved to be happy. And Emily truly wanted her to see that. True, her mother was not the most emotionally mature person out there, but she was kind and loving and so in need of affection, attention and love. It broke her heart to see her mom like that, hurt, desperate, broken.

It had been two weeks, two weeks since she had spoken to him, since she had kissed him, since she had felt his arms around her. Finally, all her tests were in, and she grabbed her papers and headed out in the hall to knock at his door. She heard giggling, then voices, before the door opened, only a bit, Bucky's face poking out to see who it was, while leaving the rest closed as to hide the inside of his apartment. He was shirtless.

It took him a moment for him to compose himself, his face had fallen, his colour had turned ashy, and Catherine could clearly hear a woman's voice on the inside asking him something about what wine to have with chocolate and sex. His face turned red, Catherine's turned white, and she turned right around, her smile gone, and headed to the elevator, letting her papers fall in the recycling bin next to the garbage chute.


	11. Chapter 11

The elevator was to slow, Catherine decided to take the stairs. She could hear him right behind her, only a few seconds ahead of him. He called to her, but she ignored him, she didn't want to talk to him, she was hurt, and mad and so angry at herself. She had believed him. He had said he loved her and she had believed it. He had said she was important to him and she had believed him. She was such an idiot.

She heard a loud noise and looked up, in stead of being behind her, Bucky was now in front of her, he had jumped down the side of the stairs in order to cut her off. He looked predatory, bare foot, bare chested, strutting towards her, there was really no other way to describe it. He was stalking her. Watching how she moved, where she might head next. Either try to go past him, rush for the 25th floor door, or turn around and run back up the way she had come. He waited, standing there, arms by his side, studying her.

Catherine backed herself up into the nearest corner, the furthermost away from him. His eyes were boring into hers, hard, deep blue, cold. She knew those eyes, she had seen them once before. He said something to her, but she couldn't understand. It was Russian, just like the last time. He repeated the same thing again, and again, and again, slowly coming closer to her, blocking any possible escape. Until she was pressed against the wall by his naked chest. His face hovering over hers, so close she could kiss him.

His hands went to her waist, sliding to her hips, and he pulled himself closer to her, she could feel him through his jeans. His metal hand help her hips close to his while his right swept up to her cheek, cupping it, caressing it before saying something more in Russian and kissing her.

"Mne tak zhal' LyubImaya moyA"

The kiss was rough and passionate and sloppy and so damned hot. He held her like that, in the corner, until both of them were breathless, until she was mewling and he was whispering things she could not understand. Until he took a step back, still holding her, his eye refocusing, his hands shaky. And she noticed he was back to himself, a look of horrified guild plastered on his face.

Her breathing quickened, and sobs burst out and just like that she was letting herself slide down the wall to rest on the floor, her hands on her mouth, sobbing hysterically. Just hoping he would leave her to her crying fit. Wishing he would just disappear. Go away and never come back. He had broken her, something she had always believe would never happen, Catherine was heart broken.

She felt herself being gathered in his arms, then moved to his lap. Bucky was holding her close, her head on his bare shoulder, his metal hand in her hair, gently combing through it, trying to sooth her. All she could do was cry. The stair well was amplifying her sobs and Catherine was suffering the beginning of the mother of all head aches. Yet she clung to him, nails digging into his shoulders.

Catherine could hear him whisper to her, over and over the same thing, whispered in her ear, his lips kissing her neck feather soft, or her head, or her brow. She let him, far to busy trying to stop crying. He picked her up and started up the stairs, carrying her easily. She held onto him tighter, her sobs slowing down. resting her head on his shoulder, she brushed her lips on his neck. Feeling him tense underneath her. She closed her eyes and cried again, silently. The man she loved didn't want her kissing him.

She tried to break away, push herself off him, but he only chuckled and held her tighter. Passing the recycling bin, he grabbed the file on the fly and walked up to her front door, unlocked it and walked them both in, closing the door behind him, then putting her down, between himself and the wall. Keeping her trapped. He used two fingers to tilt her face up, he needed her to look at him.

"I didn't want to be alone tonight. I spent two weeks hoping for you to show up at my door, and you never did." He leaned in and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes. Enjoying the feeling. "I though we were over. You never came. I was so alone Catherine. I'm sorry." She looked away. "I have never felt so alone Cat, not even when I was with THEM." THEM, HYDRA.

He stepped back, letting her move away, if she wanted to. But she didn't Catherine stayed right where she was. Looking at his bare feet, her shoes, biting her lip. She shook her head slowly. Not sure what to do. His hands were on her hips, resting there. She felt so lost.

"She was not a replacement, or a way to get over you. I just didn't want to be alone. It didn't matter who, if it wasn't you then I didn't care." He leaned in closer, resting his forehead on hers. His hands tightening on her waist. "I am so sorry. I should have been more patient." She inhaled, deeply, his smell hitting her. It was perfect, same as always. She had her hands slip from his wrists, up his arms and to his shoulders. Resting there. "Tell me how to fix this Catherine. Please." It was a desperate whisper. Full of sadness and hurt and longing. "Please."

He laid a soft kiss behind her ear. She shivered.

"I don't know. I don't know what to do James." He got closer, so much closer, his hands cupped her face and he leaned in, his lips barely touching hers.

"Just love me. Please Cat. Please just don't stop loving me." It was fast, but she leaned forward, just enough to pull his lips in a searing kiss. It was slow and languid and she was still crying. But, no matter the confusion, the hurt, the heart break, there was no doubt in her mind, her heart, that she loved this man.

"Mne ochen' zhal' LyubImaya moyA. I am so sorry My Love." He whispered in her ear as she took his hand and led him to the kitchen, turning off all the other lights, she made tea. He sat at the counter, patiently waiting. Not saying a word, the folder on the counter in front of him, he opened it and read, while Catherine got around to making them a snack to go with the tea.

"You had all these tests done, in the past two weeks?" She nodded, not wanting to look at him, she felt like an idiot. "We could have done all of this together." He grabbed her hand as she passed, pulling her into his arms. Nuzzling her neck. Giving her shivers. "Why? " She broke away. Embarrassed.

"I wanted to be sure I could... I didn't want to get into anything if I wasn't able to give you what you wanted. So, I made sure." She motioned to the folder.

"Some of these are very intrusive." He stated, a frown on his perfect lips. She shrugged. "Come here." He said as he pulled her towards him again. His strong arms around her, he pulled her into a tight hug. She was simply going through the motions, letting him touch her, hold her, not really talking, Catherine was absent. She was tired and hurt and wasn't sure what was going on anymore. So, when he kissed her, deeply, gently, lovingly, and picked her up to bring her up to her room, she let him. The tea and cookies forgotten.

They slept late the next morning, Bucky holding her tightly against him, she slept better then she had the past few weeks. She had denied his advances, he hadn't pressed, she needed time. He understood that. He had fucked up big time and now he needed to make it up to her, to make her trust him again, before anything solid could be built. He had his work cut out for him.

She was in the network, she could see the files, the pathways, the code, depending on where she went. It was weird, she was seeing a GUI super imposed on what was really going on in front of her, sort of like the Iron Man's mask screen, but not using a mask, or a screen. She navigated to the file she was looking for, opened it and copied the inside, before backing out of the system and logging herself off, uploading the information to her work station. She unplugged herself from the main frame and checked her work, it was indeed the file she had wanted to copy, it worked. So far so good.

Catherine wrote down her notes, checked the follow up tests, double checked on the database server. It all seemed to work exactly as expected. Soon, she would be ready to do more then just surf on their network.

The door to her office opened and James walked in, he had just come back from a mission, still in uniform, leather pants, heavy jacket, boots, Gleaming metal arm. Though their relationship had changed drastically, Catherine had missed him very much. Getting up, she welcomed him with open arms, literally, hugging him tight while he stood there, surprised. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her hair, before she tilted her face and let him kiss her.

They didn't do this so much anymore, in fact ,they didn't do much at all, they spend every night together, sleeping, cuddled, but in the morning, they were back to something between best friends and fuck friends, never really crossing the threshold into becoming more, like they had been, not so long ago. It had been two months since the fuck up , and Bucky was still in the dog house.

It's not that Catherine didn't want to go back to how it was, it's just that she didn't know how. It had become some awkward dance between them, and neither seemed to be inclined to talk about it, or do anything about it. Sometimes, like now, she would let herself feel for him what she used to, but it quickly turned into something unpleasant, and she tried no to go there.

She kissed him back, needy, and she let herself feel it, for the first time in weeks. His arms held her tighter against him, and she let herself lean in to him, her hands went up to his neck and she lost her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer. His hands were working their way under her shirt, his cold hands on her skin, his metal arm making her shiver.

Catherine let go of his hair and started working on the buckles of his jacket. One by one she undid them, while still kissing him. His fingers had deftly undone the buttons on the back of her shirt, pulling it off her and working on her skirt, unzipping it and letting it fall to the ground. Catherine was still working on his jacket, finally getting it undone, he took over and got himself out of his gear. One piece at a time, like a personal strip show. He sat on the closest chair, pulling her onto him, straddling him, kissing, skin to skin, it had been so long, Bucky wasn't sure if he was going to last.

He felt her hand on him, sliding slowly up and down his length, before she settled herself on top of him, sliding her underwear to the side and slowly lowering herself on him. It had been far to long. They didn't last long, neither of them, falling into his arms, her face in the crook of his neck, kissing him, licking his skin, biting lightly. He moaned.

"I love you Kitty Cat." He whispered in her ear, liking her earlobe. She purred. Kissing him more. Biting harder. She felt him getting harder, still deep into her. His hips moving slowly. Regaining his tempo. Slow and steady. Catherine kept her face in his neck. Moaning and licking, kissing and biting her way up and down his neck. She was sick and tired of being mad, of keeping him out, of punishing herself. It was enough. She felt herself rise, like a wave, slowly, building up, Bucky still moving his hips, still keeping the same beat. Still whispering to her. Still loving her.

They had been together a little over four months, including the two weeks fiasco. The last two months had been hard fro them both, Catherine incapable of letting her guard down, and Bucky to eager to please. The former ease that they had earlier in their relationship was gone, replaced by an awkwardness, something everyone could feel. Maybe Tony had been right, maybe they just needed to fuck it out.

James pulled her closer, his left hand splayed on her lower back, keeping her tight against him, moving faster, she felt herself loose control, Instead of moaning or screaming his name, she bit down on his neck, hard. Eyes rolling, nails digging in, groaning as she tasted blood. He chuckled, pulling her down as he thrust up, making her yelp. A few more thrusts like that and he came undone. Deep inside of her. He held her in his arms a while longer, before she moved away far enough to claim his lips. Licking her way to his tongue, sucking on his lower lip. Her hands in his hair, holding him to her.

"I love you Bucky." She whispered before kissing him again. Slowly. "I missed us." She said nuzzling his neck again. She saw him wince. The bite. "I want us back Bucky." He looked at her. Eyes wide, a huge grin on his face. "I love you." He kissed her, smiling.


	12. Chapter 12

It was weird, not that it hadn't been weird before, but before, her mom was happy. Well, happier. She had sold the house, moved in Stark Towers, and found herself a great guy. Emily thought Bucky was the closest thing to perfect. For her mom anyway. He was thoughtful, kind, respectful, all those other positive traits, but most of all, he accepted Emily and loved Catherine. How much more perfect could a guy be?

But then shit had hit the fan, Her mom had fucked up on a grand scale, Which, as he daughter, she was used to, but the fuck up had also included hurting Bucky, and that, well that was just plain wrong.

She didn't consider Bucky a father figure, Per Se, since well, she had no idea what a father figure would be like. She had never had one in her life, Not her own or anyone else's. She'd had her mom , her grand parents when she was younger, her aunt. But that was it, none of her mother's boyfriends had ever been allowed anywhere near the family home, Catherine kept her dating and personal life separate.

But she knew her mother didn't date, never really had. She would go out with someone for a few dates, then stop calling them, stop answering their calls and messages. Catherine had always been afraid of anything resembling a relationship.

So, when Emily had opened the door to her mother kissing a perfect stranger, she had done her best not to gawk, she had made herself scarce, and she had prayed that her mom might finally find a person that wouldn't let her walk away. Besides, even she could admit that he was HOT.

She knew he was more then just a once in a while guy. She could see it in her mother's eyes, the way she smiled, the way she didn't get upset quite so easily. Her blush. But most of all, she noticed it in the noises she heard at five AM, when Bucky would try to leave the house as quietly as possible, in the way he pulled Catherine to him when he thought Emily wasn't looking. And most of all, it was obvious in the way he looked at her; To which of course, Catherine was oblivious.

He had gone away for a few days, and her mother had suddenly become sad and depressed, would stay in her pyjama's all day, work from home. Then magically, at his return, Catherine had become herself again, her newer self.

Her mom had gotten a new job, and they had moved, and OH MY GOD she had met Captain America. She loved the new place, all sleek and new and so perfect. And lo and behold, Bucky was their next door neighbour, like, literally. And Emily was so happy for her mom.

Then there had been the implant, and Catherine staying at the hospital ward for days. and Bucky taking care of Emily as if she were his own. He had been there for her. Had soothed her worries, had held her tight, let her cry on his shoulder. Had even tucked her in. And that was when she had fallen in love with the idea of having him as a dad. He should have been so perfect.

Then, after her mom's fuck up, no more Bucky, he hadn't come by or called or texted Catherine in almost two weeks. And her mother was freaking out. She had gone to the doctors, five times just this week, had been walking around the apartment at all hours, not sleeping, was locking herself in her office at work, coming home later, not even sticking around for breakfast in the morning. Emily wasn't stupid, she could see her mom was devastated, she didn't know how to deal with it.

That Saturday morning had been really weird, Emily had come home from her night out, to find her mom AND Bucky, still sleeping, together, in the same bed. She hadn't asked any questions, just went with it. She didn't want to intrude.

After that, things had changed, again. Bucky was always around, helping her with her homework, or cooking for them, or just watching movies together. But as much as she could see Bucky try to get closer to Catherine, try to put his arm around her, or kiss her, or hold her hand. She could see her mom shying away, pushing him out of her bubble. Not letting him in. It was hard to see them like that. She knew they loved each other, she had heard them say it to one another. This sucked.

He never left, never rolled his eyes, never made a comment, never complained. Bucky stayed, he slept over overnight, he helped with breakfast and lunches, he was there for dinner, even when Catherine was working, he would be there for her. His Emily. He had said that a few times. She liked it.

Catherine seemed broken, she just wasn't trying anymore, just going through the motions. She heard her cry sometimes, at night, cuddled in his arms, she would cry. Emily didn't think her mom knew she could hear her. But she could. She also heard Bucky try to comfort her, whisper to her. They were broken, shattered, and Emily wasn't sure they could ever fix it.

In the mean time, she was preparing for College, in less then a year she would be leaving, heading to MIT. She wanted to do what her mother did, work with computers and networks and all those things that had taken her mother away from her, so fucking often. She didn't resent her mom , nor the work, but she didn't like having to share her mom with her job, and more often then not, losing.

Emily really liked Bucky, he treated her like an equal, mostly, he hugged her and talked to her and asked for her opinion and her help. He would talk about so many different things, but most of all, he didn't judge her. Even after she had told him she preferred girls. He had raised and eyebrow, hugged her tight and never mentioned it again, unless it was to asked her about this or that crush she had mentioned. She talked to Bucky more then she did to her mom. She didn't mind though, Bucky was cool.

He was gone again, he did that quite a bit these days, he would go away on a mission for a day or three, then he would come home, and things would stay the same. Catherine just didn't want to let up. But Bucky was hanging in there. He would see it through. He loved her. It was fucking obvious. Emily just wanted to slap her mom. How could she be doing this to him, he was so perfect, so sweet, so caring. Maybe her mom was just a bitch, maybe that explained why she was still single after so long. And she told her as much.

"How about you don't judge me, OK Emily. You don't know what's going, you can't even begin to understand." Emily wasn't swayed.

"You could talk to me, I'm here you know. Maybe I can help." Catherine rolled her eyes, not in any way demeaning, just in a " At the end of her rope" sort of way.

"Em, I don't want to talk about it." She could see her mom almost crying, before she breathed in a few times and managed to control herself. "I was an idiot and then he was a moron and now we're trying to fix it..."

"Well fix it better then!" She interrupted her mom. "Make it right again, because I like him and he likes me and he LOVES you and I know you love him to... just make it better mom." She took her mom's hands in hers. "I don't care what he did, It doesn't matter, you can either let it go or you can let him go. But you can't have both. You can't want to move on but refuse to let it go." She hugged her mom."You can't leave it like this." Catherine nodded.

"When did you get this wise?" Emily just grinned.

"I didn't; you just got stupid." Catherine smiled.

"I'll try. I promise."

"Do you love him?" Catherine nodded, trying not to cry, her voice breaking into sobs.

Steve knew Bucky, not as much as he used to, but day by day he was gettign to know him more. And this Bucky, in front of him, was not the usually Bucky. In fact, it hadn't been the usual Bucky since his girlfriend had gone and had surgery behind his back . Which, if you asked him, was simply not something you did. She had planed it all ahead, made sure he would be gone before heading under the knife.

Steve didn't know Catherine very well, but that decision right there, was the reason why he didn't want to know more about her. He didn't like her to much after that. Then SOMETHING had happened, and he had been un consolable for a week or two, almost as if his dog had died, or something. And then they were back together, and Bucky seemed just as sad and lost as he had been before, but worst, he seemed... heart broken.

Steve wasn't keeping tabs or anything, but he didn't like how this relationship was going, she seemed cold towards his best friend, never a sweet word or a hug or a loving kiss, just mechanics. Just what needed to be done, nothing more, no affections or attentions. It bothered him to no end. He had mentioned it to Bucky once, but he had been told to but out, that He, Bucky, was working on it, that he had fucked up, so damned much that he wasn't sure he could make it better. But still, Steve didn't like Catherine much anymore.

He did have to admit he liked the way Bucky was handling it, what ever it was, he was hanging in there, and he was there for Catherine's daughter, more so even then her own mother.

"I brought Anna home." He heard his friend say. Anna, he only knew one Anna, she was a girl Bucky had been sleeping with a couple of years back, when he had first gotten to the tower.

"Anna, Anna?" Bucky nodded.

"I was lonely, she was there, She kissed me... I don't know, I just went with it. I mean, Catherine hadn't called or talked to me in two weeks. So I took Anna home." Steve was a bit less impressed in his friend. "It was just supposed to be sex Steve. No strings attached. Anna was always good with that." Steve Sighed.

"Shit Buck, what did you do?" Steve was shaking his head. Unreal.

"Nothing, I mean, When Catherine knocked at the door I was tongue deep.." He stopped himself. "Anyways, I opened the door, half naked, and SHE was there, and she heard Anna, and all hell broke loose, she ran off and I caught her... " He rubbed his hands on his face. "I seriously fucked up Stevie." He exhaled. "She had gone and done all these medical tests and hormone sampling and other stuff." His voice was shaky. "She did that all for me, and here I am licking my way to Anna's tonsils, while she's at the door waiting to tell me she wasn't to be with me." He rubbed his face again. "I am such an ashole."

Steve just patted his shoulder.

"It'll be OK Buck, Catherine will come around." He sure hoped so, now that he had heard a bit more of the story, he liked her a bit more. Go figure. "She needs time. She was trying to wrap her head around your ultimatum and there you go trying to lick your way to the centre of a tootsy pop... really." He chuckled. "Shit Buck, you're an asshole." Both men were chuckling and nodding.

"Yeah I kinda am." He got serious again. "She took me back, but shit, it's not the same. And I don't know what to do to make it right again."


	13. Chapter 13

He was walking towards her office, surprising her, he hoped. He hadn't been this brash in a few weeks, hadn't tried anything with her since that night with Anna. Not even kissing her neck at night, or nuzzling, not unless she was asleep.

He had been used to being in a very affectionate relationship, very touchy feely, very sexual, and now, now nothing. Now he was allowed to one, maybe two hugs a week, a peck on the cheek, maybe, and her hair in his face, all night long. He couldn't really blame her. He could get through this, he could make it right, he could do all sorts of things, but bottom line was, he wasn't sure how to make it right.

His boots moves quietly over the office floor, he passed desks and people working. Reached her office door, took a few deep breaths, then knocked and opened it, walking in, closing the door behind him.

In an instant she was in his arms. Looking up at him, waiting. His head was spinning, he couldn't think straight. He leaned down and kissed her, hoping she wasn't teasing. Though he was pretty sure she wouldn't do that. She hadn't been this affectionate, passionate, needy, wanting, in weeks, almost two months. He kissed her like she was air and he was a drowning man, and soon, she was on his lap lowering herself on his erection. He was in heaven. Not sure what he had done to deserve this, bit not really caring.

"I love you Kitty Cat." It was the first time he called her that in what seemed like forever. She kissed him more, while he got himself ready for round two. He pulled her closer, so much closer, and undulated his hips, he was going to be in control this time. He found his pleasure much quicker then he had wanted to, but not before he had taken care of his Kitty Cat. He was, after all, a gentleman.

She sat there, catching her breath, still straddling him, her juices with his probably staining the chair they were on. She moved away a bit, before kissing him. Something so gentle, and giving and holding so much love. He had missed this so much.

"I love you Bucky." She whispered before kissing him again. Slowly. "I missed us." She said nuzzling his neck again. He winced, somewhere along the way she must have bit him, hard.. "I want us back Bucky." Those were the words he had hoped to hear for two months. "I love you." He knew she did. He had never doubted.

"I am so sorry Kitty Cat, so,so sorry." She shook her head, before looking at him again.

"I want to get passed it, I want to stop being angry, I don't want to be mad anymore." She touched his face, gently. "I want to be with you, and hold you and kiss you and I want you to hold me and tell me you love me. I Miss Us."

He kissed her then, unlike any other kiss he had ever given her. Wistful, reverent, loving and oh so needy. He had never realized just how much he needed her. Needed her in his life, needed her to take him back, truly, completely; so she could be his girl again. His woman. That's all he really needed. He knew right there and then, there would never be another one for him. He had figured that out when Anna had kissed him. Nothing was comparable to his girl. His Kitty Cat.

He could only imagine how he would have reacted, coming to her home and hearing a man make some sexual remarks, as she stood there half naked. He would have gone insane. HE would have killed the man, whoever he might be, and state his claim loud and clear. She was his. But instead, it had been her walking in on him. And that was so much worse. She was much more passive aggressive then he was, though he was sure she wasn't doing it on purpose.

His Kitty Cat loved him, he knew that, he had seen it in her eyes when he had opened the door, when she had stood there, frozen while realizing what was happening in his room, in the way she had kissed him back in the stairwell; At the way he knew she was struggling to not let him off easy.

Every night was a struggle for her, he knew that. She wanted to hold him, kiss him,love him, but she was hurt, and scared. He had hurt her so much, he could barely imagine making it up to her. He knew she had not dated much, knew she had never had a serious relationship, until him, and now she was trying to get over it and let him back in. It was probably the scariest thing she had ever done.

He helped her pull her clothes back on, kissing her skin as he went, reacquainting himself with the softness of her skin, her gentle soft, sweet scent, the taste of her skin, delicate, better then anything he had ever tasted, he was sure.

She helped him buckle his pants back up, pull on his shirt. She kissed him. Teasingly. Before taking his hand and walking out of her office, locking up behind them, her heels in one hand and his hand in the other.

"Mom, Where d' you put the... " Emily stopped dead in her tracks. Her mom, tight in Bucky's arms, being kissed breathless was not something she had prepared herself for, mentally. Specially not after the past few weeks. They stepped apart, Catherine blushing, Bucky looking mighty proud of himself. "Damned... never mind... I'll just go and do something... else..." She turned around and bolted. Catherine would have bet she heard her teenager giggle as she climbed up the stairs. Catherine shook her head, smiling.

"She'll be going off to MIT in August. Might be a good time to start thinking about ..." She blushed, looked away. "Our family." She had caught him by surprise. "Or at least talk about it. If that's still something you want?" He stared at her, in complete awe of this woman.

He walked to her, his hands framing her face, his face coming down to lay his lips on hers, he loved her so much.

"Only if you want it to Kitty Cat. I won't push you, I wont hold it against you. I won't leave if you choose not to. I swear." She kissed him again.

"I want to , just not right now. Maybe next year." He smiled. He could do next year, it would give them time to work things out. To talk to Emily, to move in together, officially. Time to send her to College. He needed to look into that. MIT could not be cheap.

"So, what's next?" His hands on her waist, staring into her eyes, he was afraid to ask, in case she had a change of heart.

"We make it work I work on letting you off the hook, and you work on not getting it on with other woman." He blushed.


	14. Chapter 14

She was getting good, managing to follow a signal through a network, pinpointing files and downloading them at a distance. She was managing to control her hardware better then she though she would ever be able to. Eventually she would able to infiltrate networks thousands of miles away. But for now, baby steps.

Her head hurt, behind her eyes. She rubbed her eyes, making circles on her temples with her fingers. She was starting a migraine. Slowly, she made her way to the elevators, her head pounding. She couldn't see straight.

When she finally got home, Dinner was already on the table, Emily was watching TV and Bucky was folding towels on the kitchen counter. She kicked her shoes off, relieved, floundering a little as she got used to the height difference, her head still pounding.

She walked right into his opened arms. Letting herself go limp, knowing he would hold her up. His hands cupped her face and he leaned in to kiss her hello. A large smile on both their faces.

"Hey there Kitty Cat." He whispered to her, kissing her ear before going back to his towel folding duties. "How was your day?" She sat down, bone tired. "Emily, honey, come eat." Catherine sat straighter to show the example, but Bucky saw the way she moved, the way her eyes didn't focus quite as quickly as they should. How she seemed lethargic, more so then usual. "Catherine, sweetheart. are you ok?"

She heard him, but the room spun and her head hurt and she wanted to throw up. She didn't feel herself fall sideways of the chair, didn't see Bucky's face change from worry to horror. The floor seemed to be coming quite a bit closer, quite fast. Catherine passed out.

She opened her eyes, her head still pounding, she was on the couch, a cold compress on her forehead.

"You passed out. How are you feeling?" There was a lot of concern in his voice.

"I'm ok, I think. My head hurts, but that's it." He nodded. Kneeling on the side of the couch.

"I called a friend, she's doctor, just to look at you. OK?" She nodded. Much preferable to the alternative of going to their medical department, or even the hospital. He handed her a glass of water, there was a knock at the door. Then voices, Emily and the doctor. A woman. In fact, a voice she was sure she knew. Something about Wine, chocolate and sex. Catherine blanched even more. Bucky looking at her with the expression of a man about to be put to death.

"I'm sorry." Catherine put her hand over his. Nodding, giving him a light smile. It was ok. She could manage.

t]Turning her head, she met the doctor. And was surprised. She must have stood at not much more then 5'5" short haired, blue eyes, quite stocky. She was not the super model Catherine had expected Anna to be. In fact, Anna was not at all the type of woman she would have ever seen Bucky with. Though she did realize that was a bit judgemental. Anna was smiling, a bright smile, she was talkative and nice and polite and so fun, always something nice or funny to say. Catherine liked her. Bucky had moved her to the bedroom and now doctor and patient were left alone.

"You'll be fine, probably just fatigue. That jack thing in your head, it can take a lot out of you. So, next time, try and snack, maybe even nap during the day. It will probably help." Catherine nodded. "You know, he was devastated, broken when I met him. Fresh out of HYDRA. He had been tortured and mal nourished, he was a fucking mess. I saw him change. I helped him change, become a large part of what, who he is now." Catherine knew who this HE was. She didn't really want to hear this, the reason behind why he had gone to this woman instead of her. She didn't really want to know.

"We were lovers then. For the first couple of years. No strings, not really. I totally fell for him, of course. I mean, who wouldn't." She smiled, sad. Catherine let her finish. "Then, one day, we were on the fourth floor looking out over the Mezzanine, giving commentaries on people walking by in the lobby." She had dimples. How cute. "He was looking at the main doors. I remember. And then his hands stopped moving, he had been fidgeting, I heard his breath catch in his throat. I thought he was chuckling." She added smiling a little brighter.

"Then I followed his gaze, to a beautiful dark haired woman, wearing four inch heals, a skirt suit and being escorted in by Mr. Happy himself." The smile dropped. "And I knew me and him, we were over." Anna looked away. "And that was had seen you. I never believed in love at first site, but...WOW it was instant." Both women were quiet. Contemplative.

Catherine heard the doctor leave her room, heard Bucky say something, then the front door opening and closing. She heard him making his way up the stairs, before walking into their bedroom, siting on the bed and pulling her into his arms.

"You need to rest. You've been over working yourself." She nodded. "How about I get you dinner in bed, we can hang out up here, read or maybe just talk." Catherine smiled . There was a certain look she was giving him, one he wasn't sure he had seen before.

"Maybe I'll eat later. I'm not really hungry right now." He nodded. Kissed her head.

"You need to take better care of yourself. Who's gonna take care of you when I'm off for weeks at a time. Emily will be gone soon, and you'll be left all alone in this HUGE apartment." He grinned. Felt her lean into him. "May be I could get you a dog, or a cat." He was chuckling now, the last thing she needed was a pet to take care of. She had enough issues taking care of herself.

"I could make friends, make sure I go out regularly when you're not there. Make sure I eat and take breaks. Make sure I'm well fucked..." She looked at him, totally innocent. "Oh wait, that's your job. Sorry." He pinned her down, laughing. Kissing her face, her neck her collarbone, nibbling on her ears. Making her squirm.

"I don't share. EVER." He purred as he licked his way down her neck."I am, in fact, quite possessive over what is mine." She kissed him, giggling. Feeling very loved. Very protected and Very wanted.

"Does that mean I'm yours?" He nodded, looking at her, at her reaction. She smiled brightly, pulling him to her and kissing him hard. "I like that." She whispered before he pulled her underneath him, covering her with his body, his left hand supporting his weight as his right one buried itself in her hair and his lips stole another few kisses.

"All mine, my Kitty Cat." He nuzzled her neck, peppering kisses anywhere he could. "My woman. My Catherine." He kept kissing her collarbone. The dip in her neck, her shoulder. He took his time. Wanting her nice and relaxed under his ministrations. And all the while he was smiling to himself.

"I really like that." She whispered breathlessly. He hummed in approval, Kissing his way from the underside of her shirt to her bra, pulling her shirt up and over her head easily. Humming again as he laved at her skin. "Will you want to get married?" He continued kissing her skin, not really surprised by the question. "I mean you want children but you didn't mention getting married." He stopped, looked up at her from where he was, straddling her legs, head bent about to kiss her stomach. He sat up.

"I come from a time where people got married after only a few days, just because they didn't want to go off to war and not have someone home waiting for them. I am hard wired to want to marry you, it's a thing in my head always repeating itself." He licked his lips. "But yeah I wanna marry you, but I want you to want to marry me first." He leaned in and kissed her lips. "I love you Catherine. With or without a wedding ring, you will always be mine." He kissed her again. "And I, will always be yours."

They spend the evening and most of the night expressing how they felt about each other, something not out of the ordinary. Except Now Catherine felt more like a spouse and less like a brooding mare. Not that she had ever really felt like that. But it felt nice to hear that he did want to be with her in an official capacity, not just for what she was promising him.

At breakfast the next morning, things became awkward very quickly. It had all started with Bucky offering to pay for Emily's tuition, for College. Which was quickly shot down. Of course, he pushed on, He would not allow his woman to bleed herself over something as trivial, to him, as College tuition for his ,Eventually to become, his step daughter. He could, would take care of his family.

"James, I appreciate what you're trying to do, really. But College is not an issue. Emily's tuition is already covered." Catherine paused. Looking at her child."Her father is paying for it." There was a pause. Emily's father, he had never heard them speak of him. "Yeah, Robert is paying for her tuition and her apartment and all the other expenses."

"Robert?" He was a bit shaken. He had always believed Emily's father had just left, or died. Now that he was still in the picture, James was a bit putt off.

"Robert Grant. Emily's father." Emily snorted and left the room, obviously unimpressed.

"That name sounds familiar, why do I know that name?" He was a bit confused.

"Have you read the news lately?" He shrugged.

"That big Oil Pipeline, from Canada?" He nodded, it sounded familiar.

"His family owns the company." He stopped. Looked at her.

"The Grant family, THAT Grant family?" She nodded, blushing slightly, really not wanting to get into the rest of this conversation.

"I didn't know they had a son. I mean..." He saw her face blanch. Shit. "THAT Robert Grant!?" She turned red as a beet. Refused to look at him. "But he's like fifty." She turned green.

"He's not fifty, he's forty six." He looked at her, something had just clicked.

"And you're thirty three, and Emily's seventeen, that means he was like... wow... twenty eight and you were... SHIT." His hand went to his mouth and he stopped breathing. "You were fifteen. Shit Cat. You were a kid."

And THAT was the conversation she did not want to get into.

"I don't want to get into it James." He was livid. Not against her, she knew, but against Robert. "It was settled when I got pregnant. It's taken care of, I don't want to talk about it. Just so you know, I was young I fell for him, hard, and that's it, there was no rape, no pressure, no violence.. OK. Shit happened, let's leave it at that." He took his time before nodding.

"OK." He nodded, still a bit uncomfortable with the news he had just heard. "Does he ever see Emily?" Catherine sat down, she suddenly looked tired.

"Every Saturday morning, for brunch, He flies in on the red eye, has breakfast, takes her shopping and goes back home. Been doing that for over ten years. Every week." He shrugged.

"Well, that's something I guess." He placed his hand on her shoulder, squeezing lightly. She put her hand over his, then brought it to her lips and kissed it. "You deserved better." He whispered. "You deserved someone that would have stuck by you and helped you raise her. You deserved someone to love you, and her." He Kissed her head. "I am so sorry It took me this long to find you both." He walked away, finishing up the dishes, washing and drying. Catherine just sat there, thankful for his restraint when it came to Emily's father. She didn't need to be judged, she just wanted him to let it go, which, it seemed, he had. For her sake.

Less then a days off and Catherine was already climbing up the walls. She was bored and annoyed and feeling fine. She totally needed to get back to trials with her Networking skills. Only, doctor's orders, she had called in for a few days off. Bucky was coming to keep her company after lunch , until then she simply had to bind her time. She read, a book, staying away from her console and tablet.

The door opened and Bucky walked in, dropping a large over night bag next to him. He looked at her a moment before coming over and kissing her hello.

"Go pack, I'm taking you away for a long overdue vacation." She looked at him, stunned. "And NO you can't bring your work stuff." He pulled her up and swatted her behind, come on, get going, our flight is leaving as soon as you're ready." She yelped and made her way upstairs, just going with it.

"I asked Steve to look after Emily while were gone." She heard him say while she was throwing things in her bag.

"What am I brining?" She heard a chuckle.

"Bathing suits, tiny ones, if at all possible." She giggled, he was such a horny teenager sometimes. She packed quickly, adding her swimsuits, sandals a dress shorts and anything else she could think about at the moment, then headed back to meet Bucky in the living room. This was exciting.


	15. Chapter 15

It was a beautiful place, a small island, with a few homes on it, theirs was just big enough for them, a kitchen, a bed and a living area. All with huge windows, all opened to the beach view. The back of the house was facing the well groomed jungle. It was a small paradise, a private island where you could buy or rent out a house for however long you needed.

They had arrived the night before and had slept out on the beach, in a queen sized beach bed. They were the only ones for miles, and Bucky had insisted in taking care of her most of the night. Making love outside under the moonlight, Catherine had never experienced anything more perfect and romantic. Her boyfriend had more then outdone himself.

The first few days were beautiful, relaxing, sweet, soothing, spending every minute out in the water, or on the beach, or getting close. He was tender and loving and so thoughtful. Like always. But there was more. He was needy and demanding and so wanting to have everything perfect. Perfect for her. She could feel him get more distant as the days went by, they had a week in this paradise, and now only a few days left. She hoped they could bring back the energy they had with them, wanted everything to stay how it was now. But she knew going back to New York meant going back into the real world, and that meant things would not stay as they were.

Coming out of the bathroom she heard Bucky on the phone, he seemed worried and annoyed, he was talking loudly and arguing with someone, Tony probably. She ignored it and walked out to the water. He would let her know if he deemed she needed to know.

She felt his lips on her neck, as always he had been perfectly silent. She raised her head, he took her lips, and they kissed, smiling. Before he sat down on the mat next to her.

"I need to talk to you about something." He sounded serious. She looked at him, slightly worried, but let him speak. "The world council has asked SHIELD to loan me out to them for the next few months." He waited to see if the news registered. Catherine just sat there, waiting for more. "SHIELD wants me to go in deep cover. They think there still are a few important players from HYDRA in the council." She nodded. "I'd be going in as the Soldier." Her eyes went wide. "They want me wiped."

He ran after her, he had let her walk away, but now he needed to talk it through with her. He found her, sitting atop a large rock, her feet in the surf. She was beautiful, wearing just his t-shirt, too large for her, over her bathing suit, her hair flying in the breeze. She was breathtaking.

"Tony has come up with a thing... a thin layer of plastic that he would set into my brain. It would cancel out the wipe. Save my memories." She was listening, but not reacting. He could see it in her face. It was registering. "I would get it done once we're back and then they would hand me over a few days later." He could see her face, pale, her lips quivering, a single tear on her cheek. "I'll be fine Kitty Cat."

He stayed where he was, Catherine turning to look at him. She was crying. Her arms around her legs, her chin resting on her knees. She looked heartbroken.

"How long?" He shook his head.

"I don't know, a few months. Maybe more." She groaned.

"And they want to wipe you?" He nodded.

"Stark, Fury and Banner have a few ideas, we can talk it over once we get home." Catherine nodded. "We will make this work." She swallowed, hard. "You have last say. If you refuse I won't go." She looked at him, so much sorrow. She shook her head. Not wanting to talk about it anymore.

He joined her on the rock, pulling her against him, her head leaning against his chest, she could feel his heart beat. He was so warm, she kissed the tight muscle under her lips, he moaned, he tasted of sea salt and sweat. Something Catherine would try to always remember. Tuck this moment somewhere safe within her brain and come back to it as often as possible.

"We will make sure he is as safe as possible, the safeguard on his brain should be able to withstand about two dozen wiping attempts. " Tony looked at the test results. "Unless he acts like a complete Nimrod he should be fine." Both Catherine and Bucky nodded.

"Now, the Council wants this to be a joint effort. So, We, SHIELD, will be taking care of the arm, and the Asset." he looked at James. "Sorry." He went on." And the Council will use him anyway they see fit." He put the file down."At least until we pull him out."

He sat next to Banner. "So, every two weeks, you come in here, we check your arm, check your stats, see what's what. You share your Intel and we send you back." Everyone stayed silent, This was a crazy stunt, something that might not even work, if they wiped him and the safeguard didn't guard, they were loosing a very important part of their team, and Catherine would be loosing her entire world.

"I am not OK with this." She simply said, before getting up and leaving the men in the lab. He caught up with her in the elevator, just as the doors were sliding closed. He tried to take her hand but she moved away. "Don't." Was all she said. They traveled in silence till they hit their floor, Emily was home but in her room, they could hear the music blaring. She took off her shoes and headed to the bar in the living room, serving herself and James a double.

"Kitty Cat." She interrupted him with a motion of her hand.

"Don't say it. If you say it one more time I will say the word and this will be cancelled and we will never figure out who is still with HYDRA." She took a large gulp."I can't do that. The good of the many and all that. I know you have to do this." She hung her head. "I just don't want you to."

She handed him his drink, polishing hers off and serving herself another. Letting herself fall on the closest chair, she looked at him. She was scared.

"I can't lose you." She said in a small voice. "I really can't I mean, Shit." She wanted to cry. "I don't know what I mean anymore." He sat on the armrest nest to her, taking her hand in his. Kissing it.

"What would make this easier on you?" He looked at her. worried. "Anything, really. What can I do to make this easier on you." She shook her head, nothing. There was nothing anyone could do right now to make her feel better.

"I am in love with a man that was born at the turn of the last century, that fought for his country in the second world war, that became a Soviet asset, an assassin, a spy. Then was sold of to HYDRA, and now that he is mine, He is being taken away from me, and sent back to the people that treated him like a simple object. There is nothing anyone ca do to make this situation any easier on me."

He was defeated. James didn't know what else to say, his girl was sad, desperate to not let him go, but she knew she needed to. And it broke his heart. He had everything he had ever wanted, a woman that loved him, he was planning for a family, he had a job he didn't mind, mostly. A home. And now he was risking loosing it all. And he knew all he had to do was say no, and they would let him off the hook. But he couldn't. They needed to get Hydra off the map, and to do that, they needed The Winter Soldier to infiltrate the World Council, And that meant leaving his Kitty Cat behind.

Or maybe it didn't.

"Tony will be the go between for the venture, but maybe he could put you in charge. It would mean we would get to see each other." He was still holding her hand. "Maybe I can talk him into it." She shook her head.

"Might not be the best idea. I can't guarantee I can stay silent when they go and wipe you. I couldn't handle that." He kissed her hand again.

"You would have to." She looked at him, unsure. Nodded. "I'll talk to Stark tomorrow."


	16. Chapter 16

Somewhere in the sub basement, there was a room, and in this room was a chair, or, if you asked Catherine, a torture contraption. They were there, waiting. Steve and Bucky and Banner and Catherine, waiting for Tony to come to them with the World Council delegation. Waiting to wipe the Soldier's mind one more time, waiting to make sure he was ok before letting them leave with him. Waiting to see if they had in fact succeeded in saving him form a complete memory wipe.

She stood there, between his legs as he sat on a table. His hands resting on her waist, her hands playing in his hair. He closed his eyes to enjoy it, the last bit of comfort he would have from her for the next few weeks. He would be wiped, tested, then cleared to be sent back with the delegation. He would stay there for five weeks, then she would become go between, his handler, or close enough.

It hadn't been her idea, in fact it terrorized her, to know she would have to work closely with him, without ever being able to let how she felt out in the open. Her phone chimed and she sighed. He leaned in to kiss her, long and deep. His hands staying on her waist, hers lost in his hair. They had maybe another minute before Tony got there, the delegation in tow. And so this would be their last kiss in a very long time.

"I love you Catherine." He kissed her one last time. "When this is all over, I'm going to marry you." He smiled.

"I love you James." They leaned their foreheads together for a few seconds, before she fell away and went to stand by Steve, His hand found hers and she squeezed it. Hoping she would not cry.

Tony walked in, followed by five armed men and four important looking men as well as a few Shield agents in tactical gear. Just in case. James sat there, in only his tactical pants, his shirt and jacket waiting on the table. There were few words exchanged. No one talked directly to James, of course. No one really looked at her, until it was time for her to strap him in, Banner was monitoring his blood pressure, everything seemed fine. The final strap was pulled and Catherine nearly chocked. James' hand grabbed hers in a last ditch effort to not loose contact. But she walked away. Looking at Steve, looking at anything BUT the man strapped in the chair.

She helped Banner and Tony calibrate the machine, then stepped back and got ready as the switch was flipped. Two things happen instantly. One, James's body lifted off the chair, except for his restraints, and went rigid as a board. Two, he screamed in agony. For as long as the machine made it's way into his brain, James screamed, biting hard into the hard plastic mouth guard, he screamed like a man possessed, like a man in agony, and Catherine held on, her nails digging into Steve's palm, she felt his right arm pull her into his body as she mangled his left, and controlled herself not to lean into him. She needed to seem stoic, strong, for Bucky.

It lasted for another minute, the screaming, then there was simply a soft whimpering and a few sobs. Out of the four member delegation, none could look in James's direction, and all had turned a pasty green colour, probably matching Steve's and her own.

Banner reached over and reset the machine, Catherine went to unstrap him, one arm at a time, she took her time, gently letting her fingers skim on his skin, casually. She felt his skin pebble under her touch, but nothing else, he looked around, at her, at Tony, at Banner, at Steve; Nothing, no reaction, no recognition. Either he was a great actor or Tony had been wrong and James had been wiped.

Tony led the four men out of the room, while Banner and Catherine looked the soldier over, there was a protocol to follow, and though it made her sick, Catherine needed to get into the game. They took his blood pressure, his temperature, blood work, just in case, and a brain scan. The Five armed men were waiting by the door, two on the inside, three right outside of the door.

The soldier answered basic questions, seemed to regain the ability to think clearly within minutes from the wipe, did not seem overly wobbly. He stood up, towering over her, inches away. Banner handed him his shirt and jacket and he shrugged them on, not moving away from her. Catherine clipped him into the jacket. Exhaling loudly as she managed the last one. The soldier grabbed his goggles and mask. He looked down, seeing her, looking at her. His hand went up and caressed her cheek, for just an instant. Before snapping back up, walking past her and leaving with the five armed guards.

They followed him and his guards, back upstairs to the heli pad. Catherine managed to squeezed into the first elevator, with the Soldier and his guards, a tight fit with all the riot gear. She stood staring at the elevator door, blinking away, trying to force herself not to cry. And just as she began to doubt the contact he had made in the sub basement, she felt a thick glove touch her hand, reach a bit more and hold onto their fingers. Just for a minute. Just long enough to feel better, to pass a double dozen floors, to exhale a few times, to make herself enjoy this last moment. She closed her eyes and basked in it. Before the doors slid open on the top level of the roof.

The chopper was waiting, ready for take off. The Soldier stood behind his new masters, straight and proud. His face and eyes hidden. Catherine really wanted to believe he was having as much trouble with this scenario as she was. But she wasn't sure, he was made for this, made for battle, made for war, and she was just along for the ride.

Steve settled next to her, his arm around her shoulders as the helicopter lifted off. Holding her tighter as the chopper flew further away. By the time it was far away enough to just be a small dot, Catherine was crying, her face hidden in Steve's neck. His arms tight around her, his heart as broken as hers. He kissed her hair, making silent promises to himself, to her, that he would take care of her and her girl just like he had promised his friend.

Five weeks, five weeks of running data, five weeks of worrying, five weeks of analyzing his bio's. Five weeks of being as close to him as she could, through programs and networks and data findings. Five weeks of missing him. Five weeks of worry. Five weeks of pain.

It was end of May, Emily was in finals, working her ass off, rarely hanging out at home anymore, for her seventeenth birthday she had received a car, from her father, and was now always on the go. Catherine was usually left alone, to work, to lose herself in her programs and notes an files, anything to get her mind away from what was really going on. She was lonely. Not something she either liked, or was used to.

Catherine took a shower and got dressed plainly, adding a lab coat over it all, grabbing her files and heading out. They would be expecting her already in the sub basement. There was a lot of info to go through, they had added a few things to the arm, nothing noticeable, if you weren't looking. But the information it gave them, recordings, bio metric, GPS. There was a lot of Intel they had to go through before the meeting later that day. They would need to inspect the arm, make sure the bio metric chip worked, blood pressure, heart rate, all of that. It was like visiting the mechanic for a tune up, never fun but always helpful.

She walked into the room, the chair just sitting there, huge, a dark reminder of what had transpired here a few weeks ago. Catherine shivered, before feeling warmth spread from the feeling of Steve's arm around her waist. She leaned her head on his shoulder, walking like that to their seats. They had become quite cozy in the few weeks since Bucky had been sent away. Steve was like the brother she had never had. He was affectionate, not overly so, sweet and kind, he made sure she was ok, and he talked about James, just enough to make sure neither of them forgot him.

Everyone sat around, comparing files and information, there was nothing to report, really. Except that Catherine had managed to access whatever network The Soldier was closest to, usually, the next step was to hack the network and access the files. It would take a few more days, a week maybe. But she knew she would get there, there was no doubt.

Tony came back after what felt like hours, SHIELD agents and armed guards in tow. He let the Soldier in the room, but kept everyone out, the guards as well as the SHIELD people, all waiting by the door. Steve held her hand before letting go and walking out, following Tony, leaving just herself, Banner, a guard and The Soldier.

Catherine wasn't sure how it would be, seeing him again. He sat there, on the table, the same as he had those few weeks ago. He kept looking towards the chair. She could see him pale just looking that way. He took his jacket and shirt off, tying up his hair in a small bun.

"Don't worry Soldier, we won't be going anywhere near that today." She tried to smile at him, but she was sure it just looked like a nasty grimace. He turned to look at her, a strange look in his eyes. He looked around, as if noticing he was alone with them for the first time.

"Don't call me that." She looked at him. "Anything but that. THEY call me that." He motioned towards the door. She nodded.

"Winter." She tried tentatively. He nodded. Banner took his blood pressure, his heart rate, while Catherine plugged into his arm, checking to make sure everything was as it should be. Around half way through the allotted time, Banner stretched.

"How much longer do you need?" She looked at the screen in front of her.

"About thirty more minutes, maybe thirty five." Banner stretched again.

"Alright, I'm done here, so I'll go get us some coffee. Maybe some lunch?" She nodded.

He talked to the guard on his way out, managing to get her some alone time with Winter. The doors locking behind them. Finally alone. She unplugged her wires from his upper arm, used a flat screwdriver to open up a compartment on his arm, and re plugged her wire there instead. She waited a few minutes, pulled the data out, unplugged the wire and closed the metal flap.

"How are they treating you?" It slipped out. He looked at her, those empty eyes, striking, blue, but not the same as the ones she was used to.

"I do not understand the question." He answered automatically. She sighed. Shit.

She stepped away, putting some of her tools away. She heard him shift, probably pulling his shirt back on. She was shaking.

"As of Today, you are considered a shared asset. SHIELD and the World Council will be working with you. I have been chosen to be your go between. I am your handler." He looked at her, up and down, unimpressed; A really, really good actor. He nodded, walking closer. Getting into her personal space,stopping so close, she could just lean into him.

"And do you think you can handle me..." He stopped waiting to be given a name.

"Kate, call me Kate." Close enough to her real name for her to not get confused.

"Kate? I like that." He leaned in, closer, closer. His hand softly cupping her cheek, his lips grazing hers. then he moved away, smirking. "I really like that." She turned away from him, leaning on the table in front of her, when she felt him lean against her, moulding himself to her. "Though I much prefer Kitty Cat."

She turned around, finding him standing straight, a faint smile on his face, which disappeared as soon as the door opened and Banner and the guard walked back in, carrying coffee and sand wishes.


	17. Chapter 17

"A dead zone?" Banner sounded incredulous. "You want to scramble a local network and create dead zones?" It didn't sound more believable the fourth time he repeated it.

"Don't go and make it sound so damned juvenile." She sounded insulted. "I'm sure I can manage something, my control is getting better by the day, and a simple app shouldn't be to hard to create. I mean, you guys are geniuses." The two men stared at her.

"Is this because now you know for sure your Bionic boyfriend remembers you?" It was a teasing tone, one Catherine knew well. She blushed.

"OK can we please be serious, wouldn't it be a good thing?" Tony smiled.

"Yeah it is a good idea, I have been working on something. Let me week it and I'll come and show you." She thanked him, before waving goodbye to Banner and heading to her place. She was bone tired.

Getting home, Catherine changed to her PJ's, Emily had made dinner, macaroni and cheese, and had opened a nice bottle of wine for her mother. She grabbed a bowl, her glass of wine, and went to sit in front of the TV. Emily joined her and they cuddled on the couch, watching, something Emily had chosen. She put her arm around her daughter and starting to read.

Catherine was looking over the Winter Soldier file, re-reading the mission reports that Winter had finished so far under the World Council tutelage. She read the different protocols. The basic rules and regulations of being a handler. Something she had absolutely no clue how to do. She had been reading files and documents and trying to figure out exactly what would be expected of her. She had last seen Winter about three weeks ago, since then he had gone on five missions.

The reports were descriptive and brutal, so far he had done everything perfectly. Had managed to secure important information. They would meet again next week, and he would transfer the info to Tony. She would check his arm, check his basic bio and that would be it. Though she was to be his first call if there ever was to be a problem. She was his handler, she was his first and only emergency call.

But she was also his woman, his lover and that should not, COULD NOT become an issue. In this instance she was to only be his direct line back to SHIELD. His life line, sort of. That made her nervous.

Half way through the movie Catherine's phone rang. Emily grabbed it and answered. Looking unsure, she handed it to her mother.

"Kate" Catherine's attention was suddenly concentrated on the call. She motioned for Emily to turn the volume down.

"Yes" She held her breath.

"I need a mechanic." His arm.

She looked at the bio chip's coordinates on her tablet. He was thousands of miles away. Alberta, Canada. She studied the map.

"Stay where you are." She hung up, dialled Tony's number, quickly explained the situation. Jumped out of her seat, threw on some clothes, grabbed her go bag, kissed her daughter goodbye and left. She went by her office to grab her tool boxes. She would need those, then headed to the heli pad. The chopper was waiting, taxiing her to the jet. Then it would be a few hours ride and she would be in Alberta.

Catherine slept the whole way there. Landing five hours later, at a small airstrip outside of small town. She leased a car on the premises and headed out to the coordinates her laptop was giving her. A tiny motel on the side of the highway. She picked her phone a second before it chimed.

"14" She smiled, parked the car grabbed her stuff and headed to room 14, knocking lightly. She waited maybe thirty seconds before the door opened and quickly closed behind her, locking with a solid click. It was dark in the room, the curtains were drawn and the lights were off.

Catherine set her kit up on the table, concentrating on her job, not the fact that her man was just a few feet away. He hadn't touched her yet, not a hug, not a hand on hers, but she knew he was watching her. Waiting. He was in Winter Soldier mode, and though she found it quite sexy when not out in the real world on missions. Here, now, she just couldn't let herself be affected. She pulled a hair elastic and put her hair up, then took off her jacket, rolled up her sleeves and turned to face him.

He looked fierce. Hair wild, war paint on his face, all dressed in his tactical suit. She could see blood on him, not much, but enough to worry wether or not it was his. His left arm seemed to fall heavy next to him, and he cringed a bit when he took a breath.

"Shit." She whispered under her breath. He looked at her, confused. "Let's get you out of those clothes, get you cleaned up, then I can work on your arm." He nodded. Got up from the bed and stripped. Right there in front of her.

"You know Sweetheart, if you want to see me naked, all you have to do is ask." He whispered as he passed by letting his right hand make it's way from her left side to her right as he walked by heading to the bathroom

Catherine was no prude, and she had seen him naked, often, but that didn't mean it didn't still make her want to run her tongue up and down every single inch of that man's body. And he knew it. Catherine blushed, Winter strutted out of the room and into the bathroom, giving her time to compose herself. She had better things to do then to ogle him.

"You gonna join me ?" The shower was on and she could already feel the heat from the steam crawling into the bedroom. She smiled and rolled her eyes.

"I'm supposed to be your handler, not your girl Friday." She heard him snort.

"You could be my girl any day, if you just gave me a chance." He was such a god damned flirt. "You know, they don't discourage Agent/handler relationships, right. In fact, they are encouraged." She sighed. They were indeed, that is why she had been put in this situation. An agent, emotionally attached to a handler would think twice about turning tail and heading to the next master. She knew that.

"Maybe I'm not that easy, maybe I require a bit more work Agent Winter." She heard him laugh, a throaty laugh, the kinds that made her shiver and think of naughty things.

"Just get in here Kate. It's nice and warm and wet and I'm feeling lonely." She rolled her eyes. Getting up she pulled her shirt off, her pants and walked into the bathroom. It was full of steam, he was right, the heat did feel nice on her skin. She took off her bra and panties before stepping into the shower, large, square, tiled from floor to ceiling.

There he was, in front of her, his back to her, wet and hard and hot. Catherine laid her head between his shoulders and breathed him in. Closing her eyes, her arms circling his waist. His hand came to rest on hers and they stood like that for a while. He felt her leave kisses on his back, gently. Closing his eyes he let her, let her kiss him, hold him, whisper to him. She was the balm he needed to get better, she was his rock, his grounding wire. His everything. And she was here.

He twisted in her arms, wrapping her in his, kissing her head. His left arm was bothering him, but not enough to stop. When she looked at him, it was something akin to desperation. She was scared and in pain and she needed him to make it all better. He knew this would be hard on her, hell it wasn't as if it was easy for him either. He held nothing back as he leaned down and kissed her.

THIS was just for them. Never mind that he was being monitored, that they were probably listening in on them, that they might even have eyes on them. THIS was for them. A rookie agent and her more then seasoned asset. Something that happened so often no one would even bat an eyelash.

The past few weeks, working for HYDRA, via the Council, he had worked on his persona. Granted he was an assassin, an asset but he was still a man, a cocky man, a man that new his worth, he was on the right side of chauvinistic, always charming, flirty, but always professional. He would always proposition the ones he knew were to shy to accept. Though he would pursue aggressively, just to build his reputation. He was the womanizer, the sexy sexist, the flirty assassin. Not quite his cup of tea, but he would work with it.

They kissed for what felt like hours. He took her apart with only his lips, making her whimper and moan. He felt her shiver despite the hot shower.

"So beautiful, so perfect." He purred against her lips. Bringing them lower, to her neck, collarbone, shoulder. He sucked gently, leaving small traces of his passing. Loving the way her skin pebbled under his lips, his hands caressing her, his fingers ghosting over her hip. She nuzzled his neck, kissed, licked and bit lightly, and he was lost.

He hiked her up and she locked her legs behind him, resting them on his lower back. still kissing her, he moved himself in position, gently checking with his fingers, making sure she was ready for him. He licked his fingers off before easing himself into her, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, both of them had peace.

He held her up, controlling the speed, the depth, the thrusts. He worked her so well, moaning and whimpering his new name. Begging for him, for more. And he gladly gave. Finishing on top of her at the bottom of the shower, her leg thrown over his hip, the other resting on his shoulder. He was as deep as he was going to go. And still it wasn't enough. He rested his forehead to hers, she was so damned flexible, still buried deep in her. She begged for him not to stop and he didn't a few more hard thrust and he found his release. Collapsing , his metal arm keeping most of his weight away from her.

She kissed his jaw while he regained his breath. Kissed his lips, his neck, his chest. Her hands still tangled in his hair. He leaned closer, his lips touching her ear, he licked it, nibbled, sucked on her ear lobe.

"I love you Catherine." He whispered softly. Before nuzzling her neck and kissing his way back to her smiling lips.

She had to take off the arm in order to recalibrate it. He had jumped off a speeding train and had hit a rock while landing. A stupid accident. The arm wasn't debilitated, but it was annoying making this weird noise when he moved it over his head. She opened it up, looking at the damage, nothing major, just a few plates out of place. Taking her time she readjusted the plates, one by one, gently putting them back into place, then oiling them, making sure everything was perfect before reattaching it to the shoulder joint. It made a loud click, then a whooshing sound. She heard Winter inhale through his teeth, eyes closed. He moved his arm a bit, just to test it. Perfect working order.

She put her tools away, cleaning the oil off with a rag. When everything was put away how she liked it, she packed everything next to the door. She had to go, though she didn't want to.

"Stay." He said as he came to her, his hands on her waist, pulling her closer to him. "At least sleep a bit before you leave. It's still early." He kissed her forehead. "We could sleep a few hours." He closed his eyes, hoping she would agree. "You need to sleep too you know. Not just take care of me." She chuckled.

"That's my job, taking care of you." She shrugged. "I guess I could nap a bit before heading out." He smiled. helping her out of her shirt and jeans. Pulling her to him as he walked to the bed, his metal fingers cold on her hot skin. He laid down on the bed, pulled her to him and wrapped himself around her.

It took all her strength to get out of bed and head out a few hours later. He kissed her goodbye, long and deep, while the front door of his room was still opened. He wanted his masters to know. Let them feel more secure. An old love would bring them fear of loosing control over their asset. Fear of memories resurfacing. A new love, well that meant they were gaining control, they would believe they could control him. She stepped back. Not looking at him she made her way to her car, then the airstrip, then home.

On the flight she pulled out the USB drive Winter had given her, she loaded the files and sent them to Tony. There was a lot of intel there, and none of it was any of her concern. She thought back to her time with Bucky. She had missed him so much. But a part of her kept thinking they had maybe not been as smart as they should have been. Getting involved like that, with him, while he was on a deep cover mission, it could only go all sorts of wrong.

It couldn't happen again. They simply couldn't risk it. Not until he was out. Until he was HER Bucky again. She cuddled against the leather seat and fell asleep.

Sitting in an uncomfortable chair, Catherine was waiting she had been "asked" to come meet with the person in charge of the Winter Soldier venture. Tony was sitting next to her, a light hand on her thigh, trying to keep her calm.

"Just don't say anything in there, I'll take care of everything." He had been repeating that for three days now. Ever since her return from Alberta. She sat still, nodding at him. Not quite sure what this was all about. But whatever it was, it couldn't be good.

The door opened and they were led in, a large man behind the desk, standing, looking at them. At her. He was studying her. Looking at her from shoes to crown. His eyes betraying nothing, she cold have been a piece of fruit on a platter for all he seemed to care. But then she saw a gleam, something not quite benign, and she knew she was in trouble.

He motioned for them to sit, which they did, just as Winter strutted in, seemingly relaxed and care free.

"Thank you for coming." the large man behind the desk said before sitting down. Winter still standing by the closed door. She noticed two things on his desk, first her debriefing report from Alberta, and second, her personnel file. Well, Kate's personnel file. Same everything, just tweaked. Only her personal history had been changed. Both in her file and on the Internet, anywhere it could be found really. No one could know about her prior relationship with James.

"We have hit a rough spot with our Asset." The man said, not one for small talk it seemed. Catherine was sure she knew who he was, but his name was evading her at the moment. "There seems to be an issue between him and his handler here at the Council, they do not get along." Winter grunted. "We need someone to work with him, here." He paused to let them wrap their minds around the idea.

"And you want me to come work with him. Here." She stated point blanc. The large man nodded.

"You were the one he called when he was in need. Not us. He seems to trust you. Maybe because you are female. He seems to like women." It was a casual remark, but Catherine still felt it sting. "SHIELD only takes care of his programming and tech needs. We need someone here that will take care of the mission organization with him, work on his training and can take care of minor technical issues." Again he paused.

"But mostly, we need someone that can keep him under control." He sat back, feet on his desk. "And that's where you come in Mss Ouimet." She motioned with her hand, interrupting him.

"Doctor" The large man hesitated. "It's Doctor Ouimet, not Mss." He cocked an eyebrow.

"Alright then Doctor, that's where you come in. He seems to trust you, he doesn't lash out at you like he does at others, and well, after your shenanigans in Canada, well there really isn't any reason why you wouldn't be perfect for the job." She blushed crimson.

"We have eyes and ears everywhere Doctor. But, suffice it to say, we want to make you an offer." Tony was looking at her sideways.

"What happened in Canada Kate?" He cocked an eyebrow. Looking at her. She looked at him incredulous.

"It's in my report... you know the one I gave you." He looked at her, face blank. "You didn't read it." He made a grimace.

"No, maybe I should have." She shook her head.

"Maybe." She looked at the large man. "Could we have a minute please." He nodded, seeming quite pleased with himself. She got up and followed Tony, passing inches away from Winter, feeling his fingers graze her hand for an instant before they were out in the hall and the door had closed behind them.


	18. Chapter 18

This was a night mare. No, worse, this was hell. No, this was, THE WORST CASE SCENARIO EVER. Catherine was so wrapped in to her brooding thoughts that she didn't hear Steve come stand behind her. Leaning on the wall, arms crossed on his chest, looking at her, waiting to acknowledge him.

He cleared his throat, noticed her jump a bit. Then smiled shyly when she turned around, startled.

"I didn't see you there. Sorry Steve" Catherine ran a hand through her hair. "what can I do for you?"

"I just wanted to see if you were OK, Seems Tony dropped the ball." She heard the angry tone but ignore it.

"We should have expected it. And yeah, he was less then helpful." She exhaled loudly, turning and leaning against her desk. "I just, I keep thinking this is the worst idea EVER. But then I think, well, at least I'll be closer to him." She looked up at him. "You know?" He nodded.

"Yeah I know." He sat in the chair closest to her, Catherine had a small office, but it was comfortable, two plush chairs, a large desk her office chair and a huge window looking over the city. "Just be careful." She nodded.

"I should be fine, I have my own super soldier to protect me." She wore a sad smile. "I'll be fine Steve. Really." He didn't seem convinced. "I was well briefed and I have some training scheduled , granted I am not a soldier, but I should be capable of protecting myself."

"Against Hydra agents? " He sounded dubious. She shrugged.

"Did you come here to scare the shit out of me? Cause it's working." She was getting angry.

"I Just want you to stay safe." She grunted.

"In order to stay safe I'd have to stay here. And I can't do that." Steve did not approve. "Look I got to go home and pack my stuff then head out, they're picking me up at six and it's already four thirty. Besides, I'm more worried about you." He snorted.

"Me?"

"Yeah, you're the one staying here with Emily." She smiled teasingly.

"Yeah, we will be fine." She nodded.

"I am sure you will." He left after that. And Catherine went to prepare the last minute details.

It was a small room, the bare necessities, a bed, side table, a desk, a chair. She would have to share the bathrooms and showers with everyone else. It was dark, underground, no windows, only fluorescent lights. Grey concrete walls everywhere. Depressing. She unpacked her bags, put away her things, before getting ready to go to the showers. It reminded her of college, and the dormitory style showers and bathrooms, but less inviting. The shower stalls were open and everything here was unisex, which meant she would probably have to share the hot water with men. Naked men.

She took a quick shower, in the first available stall, she would not go hide in a corner and become an easy victim. The water was thankfully hot, and she washed up quickly, ignoring the glances she got from the other users around her. Drying herself and getting dressed in the adjoined locker room. She put her things away in her designated locker, locked it, and went to get ready for bed.

She hadn't gotten a tour of the facilities, in fact, she had been given a set of four keys and a piece of paper with her room number on it, as well as her schedule on the other side. There had been a guard assigned to her, to show her to her room, and where to find the amenities, but that had been it. Tomorrow her trainer would come find her at 0700. It was now close to midnight, and she needed to get herself to bed. Tomorrow would be grueling.

Wet towel in one hand, dirty clothes in the other, Catherine headed back towards her room. dressed in loose yoga pants and a very large t-shirt, she stopped in her tracks when she found herself in front of her door. Leaning against it, waiting for her, stood Winter, White T-shirt, black military pants, he looked incredible. Or was it Eatable, she always got those two confused when it came to him.

He moved aside to let her pass, a sideways grin on his too sexy lips. The door opened and she let herself in, hearing it close behind him . Catherine hung her towel to dry on a hook behind the door and put her dirty clothes in the hamper.

She felt him lean into her back, his arms snaking around her waist to hold her against him. His lips kissing her neck softly. She hummed in approval. She had missed him. She let him kiss her, reveling in his strong arms. Not saying a word. Just humming her satisfaction.

As he held her and kissed her neck, Catherine lost herself in the surrounding network, checking for bugs. And found two. She thought better of disabling them, preferring to leave them there for now. She didn't want them to know about her ... enhancements, not ever.

She pointed to her ear and brought up two fingers, signalling for two ears. He grunted in her ear, understanding her message.

"Is it ok if I sleep here tonight?" He whispered between kisses. She hummed again, consentment, before twisting in his arms and lifting her face up for a kiss. And of course, he obliged.

"I have someone coming to get me at 7am, I need to sleep Winter." He looked down at her, a soft smile on his lips. He kissed her again, ignoring her comment as he backed her up towards the bed. She smiled.

"I won't keep you up to long. I promise." He whispered in her ear. "Kitty Cat." He proceeded to kiss her breathless, getting rid of her clothing one piece at a time, then doing the same, until he was naked on top of her, kissing every inch of skin he could get his lips on.

He was a man obsessed. Every nook every cranny of her body was venerated, he took his time, lavished such attention and affection onto her, Catherine could have died right there and not have cared. He was showing her reverence and complete devotion and surely she was crying by the time he brought her up and over another wave of pleasure.

He had settled between her legs, loved her with his mouth for God only knew how long, taking her apart piece by piece, then slowly putting her back together, with is hands, mouth, tongue. When he finally seated himself snugly into her, she was begging for another release. He worked them both expertly until they came undone together.

Kissing her still, he rolled over and tucked her in his arms, spooning snugly, kissing her neck and back until he heard her breathing slow and steady to a peacefully sound. She was sleeping. In his arms. Where she belonged.

5am came WAY to quickly. Rolling around in her small bed Catherine found herself turning into a wall of muscles, warm and soft and so inviting. She nuzzled and kissed him, peppering little kisses all over Winter's chest. Loving the noises he made. She felt his hand brush in her hair. Her lips closing onto his nipple and gently sucking. His hand gripped her hair tightly and pulled her head back just enough for him to plunder her mouth.

"Good morning Sweetheart." He whispered in her ear, his voice still filled with sleep. She looked at him, wondrously happy to finally be able to wake up by his side again.

"Morning." She rolled over and got up, preparing for her day. First shower, then breakfast, then onto her training.

"So, who is your trainer?" He asked as he pulled his pants on.

"Rumlow." He looked at her, concerned. Catherine knew who Rumlow was, HYDRA, he had been believed to be dead at the Triskelion. She had read his file, she knew how deadly he could be. She also knew Steve had worked with him on numerous occasions, even considered him a friend at one time. She nodded to her lover, understanding his concern, but letting him know she was already aware.

"He's a good soldier." he simply said. He got his shirt on, then headed to the door. "I'll meet you at the showers, then we can go have breakfast." She nodded. Kissed him lightly. "I love you." He mouthed silently, before leaving the room.


	19. Chapter 19

**_ I know it's short... I was getting frustrated. So here it is, it'll have to do for now. .. sorry_ **

When He walked in to the locker room to get his stuff everyone moved away, he had that effect it seemed. He was trying to hide it, but when she looked at him she saw the corners of his beautiful lips come un in a tiny grin. He was proud, fierce, strong and all hers. Catherine smiled to herself. She was definitely heads over heals.

He grabbed his things from his locker, their arms touching, both wearing a light smile, She tried not to blush. They moved to the showers, sharing one, no one daring to come anywhere near the Winter Soldier. Their shower was quick and efficient. No wasted time. He dried her off in the locker room, kissing her forehead when he was done, watching her get dressed. Walking back to her room they met Rumlow on the way.

He was just like the pictures, just, harsher. He had scars on his face and arms. What his t-shirt didn't cover. The rest of him was not much of a mystery, a tight cotton shirt taunt across full muscles, pants low on his hips, a heavy belt laden with a few guns and knives, he was a walking artillery. He smiled at her, it was an easy smile, honest. Catherine was a tad bit surprised, but did not show it.

The two men greeted each other with simple nods. Winter laid his metal hand on the small of her back, just a light touch, before turning and leaving. She turned to smile at him, but he was already gone.

"He does that." She looked at Rumlow.

"Yeah, he has that silent assassin walk thing going on." He nodded. Still smiling. It made her want to blush. Woah, what was that about. He offered his hand to shake.

"Brock Rumlow, I'll be your trainer for the next few weeks." She nodded, shook his hand.

"Kate Ouimet." He walked her to her room, where she dropped her dirty clothes and towel, then they both headed off down a few twisting hallways. His hand light on her back, he explained to her some of the basic things she needed to know, showed her where to get breakfast, sat with her. And they talked. It was easy, almost comfortable.

He showed her around the underground facility, before heading topside, her office was on the fourteenth floor, large enough to also have a small tech lab. She was well equipped.

"There's a catalogue on your desk, yo;ll be able to choose what furniture you want in here. The Council wants you to feel at home while you work for them." She raised an eyebrow. "It's not Stark Tower, but it does have some class." He grinned.

Next stop was the shooting range. He explained that she would be spending a lot of time in here, with him. Learning to hone her skills. Then there was the gym, the training room, the boxing ring. He showed her around, patiently, explaining what she would be doing, and why. If he was going to be as patient with her training as he was showing her around, this might not be as unpleasant as she had imagined it would be.

The ended up having a late lunch and talking about what would be expected of her in the next few days, training in the morning then work in the afternoon. She and the Soldier were heading out in less then a week and she needed to have her shooting skills assessed. She would be the Soldier's support and she needed to be up and ready to protect her charge. She nodded understanding what was expected of her.

They parted way shortly after that, Rumlow walking her back to her office. He would meet her at the shooting range later. Her office was huge, large windows and a separate room where we could work on her tech. She looked around, everywhere, checking for bugs but found none. Surprising. Then looked at the catalogue on her desk and decided to take a girly girl break. She sat at the desk, lounged, her feet on the desk.

After ordering what she believed she would need for her new office, she headed to the shooting range to try and get some time in. She met Rumlow at the range, he was already readying her weapon, a riffle. Of course, Catherine knew nothing of guns. And this would be a first for her. She spotted Winter not to far, leaning on a nearby wall, looking at them.

The gun was explained to her, how to hold it, how to clean it, how to take it apart and put it back together, once she had that down, he taught her how to hold it and aim. Then he taught her how to shoot.

For something so damned dangerous in important, it didn't take much time, three hours, not a minute more. Her first shot hit the target, almost at the centre. Either she had a great teacher, or she was a natural. Maybe a bit of both. Rumlow kept asking her to shoot, over and over again different angles, different distances, but always, she got her shot. Even the Soldier was impressed. She would have his back every time. He was sure of it.

By dinner time Catherine was dead on her feet, her shoulder ached. Winter came to get her, walking the few yards from his spot against the wall to where Rumlow and his protege were now cleaning and putting away the gun. She looked ready to go to bed.

Catherine thanked her trainer and left with the Asset, letting him lead her back to the mess hall. She was hungry, and tired, she would deal with one before dealing with the other.

"Good job today." He said with a hint of pride. "That was amazing." She smiled, a tad bit proud of herself. She had surprised herself in there, it was her first time ever holding a gun, she had been scared and nervous. But now, she felt confident. Tomorrow they would shoot outside, where wind, distances and angles worked differently. She would see then if she was truly as skilled as they said she was.

They ate in silence, again people around them giving them space. It was weird. Catherine decided to skip the shower and head to bed, followed by Winter. He undressed her, massaging her back, taking care of the knots forming in her shoulders and lower back. Gently he rubbed her from her shoulders to her toes, taking the stress away, before laying down besides her and holding her close. Heavy blankets all around them, she slept soundly in his arms.


	20. Chapter 20

Training with Rumlow was a lot better then she had expected. In fact, it was fun and enjoyable. She had learned how to shoot, accurately, and how to defend herself, as much as she could in less then a week, Winter had showed her a few knife moves, Catherine was feeling a lot more sure of herself then she had when this whole World council thing had started. Now, they were getting ready to go out in the field, Catherine would be supervising Winter from afar, she would be a little less then a kilometre away, making sure he got in and out with the information they needed. It was supposed to be a quick mission something defiantly way under his pay grade.

They reached their destination after a few hours in the helicopter and Catherine hacked into the closest network, contacting Jarvis, connecting to Tony's network without effort, uploading the info they had gathered the past week. While she was doing that, Catherine was also making her way to where she needed to be in order to keep an eye on her man. She pulled her riffle out, placed it, calibrated it and laid down waiting, her scope trained on Winter. Once he breached the defences she had his back, one after another she downed the attackers that he could not get while fighting off others. He disappeared in a nearby building, Catherine counted. less then four hundred seconds later he was out, giving her the thumbs up. He had the info.

Suddenly, her connection to Stark towers broke, there was no more Jarvis, no more network, no information, no more feed. She tried to reconnect to another network thinking it might be the firewall, but nothing. She could find and connect to nearby networks, but could not reconnect to Jarvis.

Jarvis, and Stark Towers, were down.

She waited for Winter to get to her, about a minute or two, then they jogged to the extraction point. A chopper was already for them and they climbed in. Catherine was worried, this didn't bode well and she was sure things could only get worst. There was no way for her to communicate with Winter until they hit the base, and even then, it would be touchy.

The trip back was as long as the trip there, she was sure they had been sent away for a mickey mouse mission, just so they wouldn't be on the base when the Stark Network would be hit. It made sense. Getting her and Bucky out of the way, giving them free reign, which meant they probably knew Bucky hadn't been wiped. Hopefully, she was wrong.

They reached the World Council base, a slew of armed men waiting to escort them back to their respective rooms. Catherine and Winter were kept apart, no words were said, no questions asked, Winter simply followed orders, looking back towards her to make sure she was ok.

Rumlow was there for her, smiling as always, polite.

"Congratulations on a Job well done Kate." Catherine smiled, ignoring the tightness in her chest, this was going to be bad. He snaked his arm around her waist and pulled her with him. "Come on I want to show you something." She followed, feeling less and less confident. He pulled her along, keeping his arm around her, his body flush against her side. She felt his breath on her neck as they entered the elevator. His lips brushing her ear. "The bosses have a surprise for you." Catherine tried not to shudder,her stomach dropping more by the second.

He led her to a room with one sided glass, a dark room on the other side, with a table and two chairs, when Catherine saw who was on the other side of the glass she almost lost her balance, somewhat grateful that Rumlow was holding her at the waist, helping her stand straight. Emily sat there, looking tired and dirty, streaks of tears rolling down her face, Catherine simply did not know what to do, this was worst then any nightmare she had expected.

"Told you they had a surprise for you." He was still holding her by the waist, a bit tighter now, almost keeping her up. She felt herself slump against him, the fight gone, defeated. "Come on honey, don't let them see you like this. Give them some sort of a fight. " She whined. "If you can't fight for you, then fight for her." He pointed Emily. He felt her straighten and move away from him, his arm still around her waist but not holding her anymore. Her face was pale but blank. She looked at him, hateful. "It wasn't me Kate. I swear, I don't hide behind little girls." She wasn't sure she believed him, but right now, he was her only ally.

"What do you want from me?" He motioned to the glass.

"Hydra needs you to cooperate." And there it was, out in the open, no more pretending. "I'm sorry they took Emily, I am sorry they need this, her as leverage, we would all prefer it if you just willingly worked with us, but we know where your allegiance lies. So, HYDRA took precautions to insure your cooperation."

"OK." He squeezed her lightly, seemingly happy to hear her answer. "What ever it is, I'll do it, just, let me see her. Please." He nodded, talked into his ear piece and led her to the door.

They took him back to his room, with four guards at the door, and he sat and waited. They hadn't treated him like this since he had come a few months ago. And now he was growing wrestles, worried about Catherine. He had seen Rumlow leave with her, his arm around her, and he didn't like it one bit.

He sat on the bed, waiting, wondering, what did Rumlow want with Catherine, and Why had she looked so worried on the trip back, the mission had gone off without a hitch, it was obvious she was privy to information she could not share with him, but what?

Eventually a guard came by with a tray full of food, he guessed it was diner time. He refused to eat,not hungry, worried. Scared, Where was Catherine. It had been hours, usually he would be let loose, allowed to roam freely. Something had gone wrong, and without knowing where Catherine was, he could not risk trying anything on his end. So he waited.

The door to the room opened and he was greeted by Rumlow and six other guards, all armed to the teeth. He stayed where he was, on the bed, all eyes on him, Rumlow looked at him, then motioned for the others to leave.

"Sergeant Barnes. We need to talk." Bucky shook his head, pulling his metal arm through his hair.

"Shit." Rumlow looked at him, a sliver of pity in his brown eyes. "What happened to Catherine, where is she?" Rumlow paced in front of the distraught man.

"She is fine, and she will stay that way if you play well with us." Bucky nodded.

"Can you take me to her?" He knew it was a stupid request, he would be denied, but he had to ask. He was worried and scared and needed to see her, to be sure she was OK .

"That's why I'm here." He looked at Bucky in all seriousness. "Do we need to cuff you or are you going to play along?" Bucky grunted.

"I'll go along willingly. No need to cuff me." Rumlow nodded. then lead the way, the guards falling in place around him as he stepped out of his room. Rumlow led them around the base, making sure Bucky had an eyeful of the wiping machine being transported into the base, everything suddenly clicked and Bucky realized Stark Towers had been attacked, and had failed to defend itself. They were on their own.


	21. Chapter 21

They walked him up to the elevator, then punched in a code and were lead to the twentieth floor, he counted. Still there were guards around him, and Rumlow was trying to make light conversation, it was surreal. Bucky just stood there, hands behind his back, legs apart the classical at ease position, but he was anything but. They had him and his girlfriend, they knew he hadn't been wiped, they knew exactly who she was and the Avengers had somehow been taken out of the picture.

Alone and scared, though he wouldn't admit it, he thought about what other options were left to him and Catherine. The elevator door opened to another locked metal door with a number pad on the side, Rumlow entered a code and the heavy door slid. Opening up to a large living area, and a huge open kitchen. He followed Rumlow out into the large room, the guards not following, the elevator door stayed opened.

"You get to stay here for now, don't make any trouble and you guys should be treated ok. Try anything and the women will get it. The wiping machine can be used on anyone, remember that." He patted Bucky on the shoulder before walking back to the elevator, the metal door sliding shut behind him.

Bucky walked around the place, it was nice, modern, walking into the master bedroom he found Catherine laying in bed cradling Emily. They both looked exhausted, tears dying on their cheeks. He took off his boots and laid next to them, pulling the heavy duvet over all three of them, he pulled Catherine against him his arm around her middle, same as she was holding on to her daughter, closed his eyes and rested. He would not sleep, but he could enjoy a bit of comfort with his woman. After all there was nothing to be done for now.

Catherine woke up feeling to hot, she pulled her arm away from Emily and realized there was something hard against her, turning around she recognized James, his eyes open, looking straight at her. She wanted to say something, she wanted to cry, to hang onto him, to hide in his arms and never leave. But instead she smiled, a sad smile, and kissed him lightly. She felt his arm tightening around her, kissing her back, his lips making short work of making her gasp, sweeping his tongue in to control the kiss. Her hands went to his hair and she tightened her fists in his mane. Desperate to get as close to him as possible.

The bed moved and both suddenly came aware that they weren't the only ones on the bed, gently, Bucky moved off the bed and pulled Catherine in his arms, walking them to the living room couch. He sat down first, keeping her tight in his arms, her face buried in the crook of his neck. When Catherine was sure Emily couldn't hear her she burst into tears, his arms strong and safe around her. He kissed her head, her brow, her lips, softly. His metal hand rubbing her back, he spoke to her softly, trying to make her feel better. But he couldn't nothing could make this right.

When the tears and the sobs died and Catherine was ready to talk they started to try and figure out what was next. Bucky told her about the wiping machine in the basement, let her know about the open threat Rumlow had let out. Catherine had an idea of what HYDRA wanted from them, for one thing they wanted their Asset back, for another, gaining someone like Catherine in their ranks was a great boost for an organization waiting to reassert itself as top terrorist organization in the world. She could be the key to accessing closed off information all over the world. Keeping Emily here guaranteed her docility, and keeping Catherine meant having their Asset ready and willing to work. It was a win win for HYDRA.

Emily had mentioned what she knew of the attack on the tower, how Jarvis had gone down then the electricity. Steve had tried to protect her but she had seen him go down. Emily didn't have details, she had been scared. Bucky held the girl in his arms, holding her tight as Catherine sat across from them. They were a family now, thrown together by fate and had t figure out how to survive in this new reality. Not that being a family was a bad thing, they worked well together, but adding HYDRA to the mix was something inherently dangerous. Who knew what would come next.

There was a light meal fro Emily before she headed off to her bedroom, silent and still red eyed from crying. They were stuck here and for now making the best of it would have to do. There was too much at stake to try and fight it. Neither of the adults was willing to risk loosing the teenager. Bucky held onto Catherine, her body still shaking, wether from fear of anger, he wasn't sure, it didn't matter.

After talking for a few more hours, tucked tightly against his chest, Catherine had decided to leave the network connection to her brain open, if Jarvis came back online, she would know,he would contact her. So far, there was nothing. The net was flooded with pictures and stories of the Avengers falling, of Avengers tower being destroyed, nothing left, just boulders of cement and dust on the ground. It was a disaster.

They laid in bed, warm in each other's embrace, not able to sleep.

"You should get close to Rumlow." His voice was shaky, unsure. "He can protect you." He turned his head and kissed her hair. Catherine was confused. What was he talking about.

"What do you mean?" Bucky sighed.

"I see the way he looks at you, his hands on you back, always touching you. He can Protect you Kitty Cat, he can make sure nothing happens to you or Emily." Catherine pushed herself off him, sitting on the bed looking at him as if he had just sprouted a second head. "Don't look at me like that. I mean it. He wants you, he can protect you. It's an easy choice to make." Her mouth went dry. Her eyes wide as saucers.

"WHAT!?" She was out of the bed and pacing. "Are you trying to tell me I should sleep with him." She looked at him, his eyes, his lips, everything in him screamed serious, honest, scared.

"Yes." It was a whisper, but then he said it again louder. "Yes, I think you should." Her knees were going to buckle, she was sure of it. Sitting back down on the bed, incredule, her mouth still half opened, there was nothing she could say to that. He took her hand in his, kissing her palm, snaking his arms around her and pulling her in his lap. "I love you more than life itself. You are my everything. But I can't protect you here. I can't keep you OR Emily safe." He kissed her neck. "But HE can." He felt her shaking in his arms. "I will always be there, I am not going anywhere. I will be right here when all of this is over. I promise Kitty Cat." Catherine whimpered. "I want to make you my wife, I want to have a family with you, but I can't do that If were dead. I can't be there for you if you don't keep yourself safe." He kissed her neck again. "I'm not pushing you, I am not forcing you. It's your choice. But you need to think about it as your ONLY truly viable option. Emily is here now, and that changes the game."


End file.
